Once a Month is Never Enough

My new favorite blog is with the self-explanatory title Awful Library Books, just ahead of the fantastically brutal Awkward Family Photos. It puts a spotlights on the unintentional gems that slide under the radar in history that in retrospect seem ridiculously funny. Teen Alcoholism... not funny (depending on what you consider alcoholism). This picture and that girl's hair hysterical. It makes me think Reefer Madness of the 80's and I wonder if their is a companion video I can watch to learn about the evils of this dirge to teenage American society. And here's a shot of a burgeoning classic sport that needed a book written about it:



What a Family Photo!

(via AwkwardFamilyPhotos)

The persistent question of "Is the Joaquin Phoenix quitting acting to become a rapper a hoax?" is still not answered. EW is reporting more on the documentary that is being filmed by Casey Affleck, who is married to River and Joaquin's sister Summer. I don't trust anyone with the last name Affleck, usually very shiesty fellows. To be honest, I don't think anyone should believe this is for real unless you consider method actors like Brando as other people when they are performing.

The sad thing about this whole affair is that Joaquin Phoenix is not on the big screen. Outside of his Oscar nominated turn as Johnny Cash in Walk the Line, most of his best performances have gone overlooked such as a fantastic turn as a soldier working the borderline of legality in the excellent Buffalo Soldiers (got buried because it was supposed to be released around 9/11), the weird drama Clay Pigeons,as well as Two Lovers, his last on screen performance.

Phoenix plays Leonard as the wide eyed, fragile Jewish Brooklynite who is trying to pick up the pieces of his life. An excellent performance opposite Gwyneth Paltrow, in her best performance in years, as a kind of ditsy, club loving dream girl. His career has been full of these interesting roles that have filled quality films but his full potential has not really been met with the perfect challenging role to showcase his excellence in full.


Micheal Crichton's very expensive flag

Michael Crichton has one valuable art collection according to a Fast Company piece. When an article about it features the sentence, "Other highlights of the sale include works by Jeff Koons, Andreas Gursky, Roy Lichtenstein, and Andy Warhol" you want to know what the real highlights are. At Christie's on May 11, an auction was held features Jasper John's Flag, and some Rauschenberg's & Picasso's estimated to fetch in the area of $5-$10, see what mass market mostly schlock filled with mild intrigue ("Jurassic Park", "Congo") that gets turned into some huge movies and co-creating ER can get you.

NYTimes Arts Beat Blog just updated that the Johns ended up fetching $28.6 million although that doesn't touch the $106.5 million that a Picasso went for at another Christie's auction last week.

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Quick Notes:

Ever wonder where the world's most humane prison is? Norway, of course. (Time)

Need another reason to hate the Yankees? DirecTV & YES (the Yankees Empire Propaganda Network) will broadcast the first 3D Baseball Game against Seattle in July. (Paste)

According to the UK's the register, Bill Gates is now helping a cloud that does not involve computing. He is helping a guy make fake clouds to try and save the earth.

The 'stache loving Nazi-esque Carlos D of Interpol has left the band. Sad Day for people who still think Interpol is on the brink. (Paste)

Jeff Mangum (recluse of Neutral Milk Hotel fame) pops up for benefit in NYC and performs some classics including "Oh Comely" & "In the Aeroplane over the Sea". Videos on Youtube via Stereogum.

Holiday Movie Releases, Best Songs of 2008 plus a fun dose of Yankee Hatred!

Happy Hanukkah. Don't forget your Star Wars Droidel!

It just turned Dec 25th, the holiday of Christ and such and for the Juden. Time magazine has a funny article about how kitschy the 8 crazy nights are getting. What is there for a Jew to do on Christmas you might ask? Plenty! There's gambling in Atlantic City, Chinese takeout and of course Oscar bound movies. This year fells a little weird, no major standouts but a lot of possibilities and much anticipation. I'm sitting here watching Gran Torino, a awkward but heartwarming tale that may possibly close the career of possibly the most important man in the history of cinema. Clint Eastwood, of course.

He's done it all. The movie has a weird feel due to the mildly amateurish skills of the younger, Asian actors who take up most of the supporting roles but Eastwood made a wise and interesting choice. He chose a movie with heart and soul that didn't leave that Man with No Name/ Dirty Harry. Listen closely for him singing a song at the end. Is there another director that is taking advantage of the late stages of his life? An octogenarian pumping out two high caliber, memorable movies a year as a director. good for him. I just hope I'm one-tenth as productive when I'm that age.

Christmas brings the dregs (Owen Wilson stooping with Marley & Me, Adam Sandler's kiddie movie entry Bedtime Stories and Frank Miller's directorial debut with The Spirit, the Sin City look-a-like that is bound to suck balls) along with the maybes (Tom Cruise's Nazi Extravaganza Valkyrie?) and the movies that will be good if you stay awake long enough to enjoy them (Brad Bit in the 2 1/2 plus hours of Benjamin Button) What I really want to see will take an effort to find but might be the most worthwhile of all, Danny Boyle's Slumdog Millionaire & Darren Aronofsky's Mickey Rourke vehicle The Wrestler.

There are more movies that I haven't mentioned that I'm sure will be worthy of your time but I should take a minute on the much ballyhooed political biopic of the homosexual icon, Gus Van Sant's Milk, a film I saw earlier this week. The overall story is interesting and aptly documents the times. It is easily one of Van Sant's more "mainstream" digestible film, even if it is laden with lots of male nudity and man on man make-out sessions.

Just like Clint in Gran Torino, Penn carries the movie as Harvey Milk himself, a common theme in most Oscar film is that the performances often triumph the movie itself. The starring performances make the movie which makes Best Actor probably more important than best picture. Although Emile Hirsch was an excellent in a supporting role in film and is quickly moving up my list of trustworhty actors worht seeing his movies. For Hirsch, it seems to be the case as long as the film is not called Speed Racer.

Speaking of politicians, Sarah Palin has won an award, Conservative of the Year. On the opposite side of the spectrum, Al Franken's appeals in court seem to possibly be working, it's like the anti-Bush v. Gore circa 2000.

On the topic of widely despised entities, let me throw my two cents of blatant Evil Empire Yankee hatred in here. These fucking rich white devils who are signing every high priced free agent in sight. Sadly, I am a fan of a team at opposite side of the spectrum, a Padres fan stuck in the NY area, the area of over-privileged with money while underachieving teams. The Padres payroll is about $40 million dollars and they are trying to cut that in half by trading away one of their two real excellent major leaguers, all star Jake Peavy, one of the five best pitchers in baseball. Why are they cutting payroll? The main reason is the owner is getting a divorce and wants to sell the team. The Cubs are up for sale and the owners just filed chapter 11 but the team is still out there trying to add free agents.

The Padres are the anti-Yankees. Every time a free agent comes up for discussion the proverbial "hot stove," they are never mentioned because they don't sign anybody. They don't do free agents. They don;t do anything. Maybe this is all jealousy but maybe it's just digust. The Yankees are within their rights to sign whomever they want but then they shouldn't be asking NYC for another $450 million afterwards. I hope all of these free agents have major injuries and the Yankees are right back to where they started, an unbelivably overpaid above average shortstop named Jeter, past his prime catcher, past his prime just about everything. It's like the Passover song Dyenu, meaning "it would be enough." If the Yankees opened a new stadium, it would have been enough. If the Yankees signed Sabathia, and not Burnett, Dyenu! If they signed Sabthia, Burnett but nothing else Dyenu! If those fuckers had signed Sabathia, Burnett & Texiera, it would be enough? What's next 3 years, $80 million for Manny. When does it end with these fuckers? Why don't they just sign another team worht of player to play at Yankee Staium on the off days? UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Change the topic. Some pleasant music would be nice. Stereogum's List of Most Anticipated Musical Releases of 2009. The list includes new stuff from Morrissey, M. Ward, Midlake and a personal favorite... Doves (and remember no Dove.) And Chinese Democracy is out so they don't have to list it anymore.

The new U2 album will cost $96?

You Ain't No Picasso's Top Ten Songs of 2008 very closely resembles what would be my list if I ever end up making a list especially Elbow's "Grounds For Divorce," The Dodos' "Fool" as well as the Sigur Ros and Wolf Parade tracks, you can hear & download them all right off the page.

Have you been wondering what is Franz Ferdinand up to? As much as you can rag on them for being tired as fucking hell of their last album, twas some quality funky Brit Manchester-ite shite. Well here's some of the new stuff it is...

I'm Back and Ron Villone Sucks

A dramatic visage of Ron Villone throwing a meatball in the snow for the Yankees.


It’s been a while… since I could my head up high. (Thanks Aaron Lewis and Staind, who are back in the studio to take back some of that Nickelback real estate.) And there I go again. Not one sentence into this fucking entry and I’m going off on an unqualified tangent but I set myself up. Fuck.

Well, it has been a while. Extreme bouts of overworked, sleep-deprived, and Yankee depressed related inactivity have, for quite a while, conquered the “little author that could,” if you could call a blowhard writing 300 words every few weeks an “author.” I better fucking stop this.

But I had a night with maximum energy a few nights ago and the pen started humming. Still, it took me four days to type it up. Outdated blogs make a lot of sense. This was a beautiful night, the temperature was in the mid 70s and the New Jersey air didn’t fill your lungs with congestion. The Yankees had just completed a sweep at the hands of the lowly Rockies, 4th place in the NL West but still over .500. The Yankees were teetering around .500 mark. The Rockies had about 4 games on the Yankees by the end of the series. In fact, 4 teams in the NL West have a better record than the Yankees. 4 teams have won more games than they have lost, unlike the AL East where the Yankees reside in 2nd place, the best of the 4 sub .500 teams in that division. It could be said that the AL East is the weakest division in baseball with 4 sputtering teams and the division crown practically over halfway into the season.

I love the sound of a Yankee fan throwing in the towel as their team picks up increasing payroll for fun. No other business takes on more debt when they are about to go under. But sadly the Yankees are propped up by millions and millions of front running cry babies who have chalked this year up to it “not being their season.” Some want to trade off their parts and pick up some prospects on talk radio. A lot of teams want to pay $17 million for the expiring contract of Bobby Abreu. He’s been in a lot of big pennant races in his Phillies experience.

They want to trade A-Rod since he’s gonna leave anyway, like someone will pay the rest of his salary so he can opt out and go to the highest bidder.. They think they will get the farm from a team that is actually in the playoff hunt for Jorge Posada, and they can *wink wink* sign him after the season having accrued some prospects. These are tricks that teams like the Yankees fall for, the rent-a-player overpriced mercenary.

No one is giving the Yankees anything, especially the thing that their money seems to not buy, a bullpen. Kyle Farnsworth is quite the 20 + million dollar man. And every time I see Ron Villone coming in the game I get giddy. I know the game is about to go right down the tubes. And now pitching for the Yankees, the human battering ram, number 47, Ron Villone. Follow him up with Vizciano and thenback to the submariner Mike Myers, the Ortiz killer, and Torre can piece together a nice big L for his ballclub.

I got the fear from that little run but that was the blip. The Yankees have to win 30 games more than they lose the rest of the season to make the playoffs. It could happen and the Yankees might try to buy it, but there will be a few parties the day the Yankees are eliminated form contention.

And next year to keep all these boys around for another losing season the Yankees could rack up half a billion in just re-signing players in the off season. 5 years, 30 million for A-rod. 2 years, 30 million fr Rivera. 4 yrs, 60 million for Posada. A contract extension for “the Captain” so he doesn’t feel slighted, how about A-Rod’s old salary 5 years, 25 million a year. And they can do all of that and not only make their team just as weak as it was but hinder them from a future.

The Giambi albatross (20+ million a year for at least 2 or 3 more) will remain along with Johnny “Hurts Real Bad” Damon for like 3 more years. So Giambi and Damon can share DH and 1st base duties, who both can’t filed or stay healthy, with a right hander that can’t hit .200 Mentkiewicz (I don’t care how you fucking spell it, he sucked as a Met and a Red Sock too, good scouting Yanks). It is horrifying how much money this team can piss away on the DL, they have the payroll of the NL Central on their on DL at most times.

The future looks bright in the Bronx. But they’ll make a run at the best move they can make, getting a real centerfielder. Ichiro and Torii Hunter are going to be free agents, as well as the severely slumping Andruw Jones. It could help but pick your poison (stop it with the fucking clichés) and add $15-$17 million a year for 5 years. Say it’s not about the money, and then go out their and overpay. Spend, spend, spend you fuckers. And I’ll make a toast to your future miseries and lack of penultimate success, the championships. It’s going to take a long time to build a real team again and hopefully I won’t see it again. You had it, and it slipped away. All the mercenaries under the sun can’t help the Evil Empire now.

I was going to write about something else too. Ah yes, movies. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, short and sweet, much improved from it’s predecessor, and perfectly timed at right under 90 minutes, a welcomed relief after the 2 ½ hours plus running times of Spider Man Hell and the Pirates Curse movie. Ocean’s 13, a lot of slick talk and interesting camera work patches the holes in a rushed plot.

I promise I’ll get to a longer assessment of the state of comic book blockbusters in the next week or so followed by a detailed analysis of Fargo I’ve been cooking up. Thanks for your patience. Something worthwhile will get up here eventually.