Scenes From a Padres Fan on Vacation in North Florida

All the other Wes Anderson's got Criterion so why can't Bottle Rocket? It’s been over a decade since the film that launched the careers of the Brothers Wilson, Luke and Owen as well as Anderson. Owen Wilson plays the awesome character vehicle as zany and grandiose planner Dignan. Luke also shows up as the straight man, basically the same character he’s played well his entire career. Well it finally is on its way. This is still one of the more overlooked films of the mid 90’s indie film scene. (Cinematical)

The Padres are making me sweat it out. It’s the Top of the ninth and the game is tied 6-6. A tiebreaker game that decides who makes it to the playoffs. Peavy was disappointing but is a no doubter Cy Young winner. At least they are no the Mets.

I know it’s not my birthday but it might as well be. Radiohead announced they will be releasing their new album… online… next week…FOR FREE. Not like the free really matters. Just shows how Radiohead blazes new trail in all aspects. I’m not in love with the album title In Rainbows, but I am in love with Radiohead. Visit inrainbows.com for more information. (Reported everywhere music is reported including Pitchfork)

From the Desk of Joe’s Vacation (While Riding the Dolphin Statue)…

I have been in Florida the last week or so visiting my grandparents. Even though it’s hurricane season in the southwest, if there isn’t a hurricane, this is the perfect time to vacation here. I parked one spot from the beach 2 times last week. The last few days the weather has been gloomy with the crazy Florida only blinding sun showers.

As a Northeasterner, I’m not used to running into the wrath of Nor’easters or whatever they call these fuckers. One second the sun is shining and it is a perfect 90 degrees. The next second the rain is battering the windshield so hard that you have to slow down from 100 MPH on Interstate 95 to almost a complete stop, turn your wipers on the strongest setting, and put your hazards on. And then it just stops dead. And the sun comes right back out like nothing ever happened. This happens about 4 times a day.

Of course, there are a lot of old people. Real old people as well. I went to dinner with 6 of them the other night to a place called the Palm Coast Classic Diner (Under New Management, and rater 4 out of 5 on palmcoast.biz). I was weary since it was called a diner, it was in a space that in no way resembled a diner, and I was about to sit down with these 6 Jewish senior citizens. It is open 24 hours a day, but there didn’t seem to be any customers after 7 PM. Old people don’t do 24 hours. There barely do 12 hours a day. I had done this once before the last time I was here at a steakhouse. Foods that have different ways of being cooked are completely fucked in an area like this. I don’t know how you could open a steakhouse in such a nickel and dime ticky-tack place like this. That night no less than 8 dishes and sides were sent back with constant complaints.

So we arrive at this diner. There is no one there. In NJ, Diner means order, drinks, food, 15 minutes or less. I gave a 2.5 multiplier to convert to Florida service speed. The food was ordered with not much incident besides a plethora or sauces and vegetables that were to be left off or substituted by every individual at the table but that is to be expected.

10 minutes later drinks arrived. No mixed drinks or beers. 6 of the 8 people ordered water. The room we were sitting in was still completely empty. 20 minutes later came 3 bowls of soup. 30 minutes into a meal at a “DINER.” 3 people have soups.

There was 12 minutes before some bread came out and 27 more minutes till all the meals arrived at the table. Orders to service of entrees with no appetizers order takes exactly 59 minutes. At least they stayed under the hour mark. You may think someone ordered steak or something. Nope. The table was 6 wraps, a veal parm, and shrimp. Hopefully the chefs had a nice nap because they were definitely not cooking.

This place should be sued for being called a diner. I know diners and this place was no diner. The name should be rescinded. The waiter was very nice and the old people didn’t seem to be fazed because they have all the time in the world. This begs the question: is it better to have fast service with a frown or slow service with a smile? Well how slow is the service? If it takes a hour to get a few sautéed veggies in a wrap with a baked potato, I’ll take the pissy frown with the waiters always expecting and thinking they are deserving of bigger tips. No more trips to the Palm Coast diner for this young feller.

Now it’s the 11^th inning in the Padres game and it’s still 6-6. I’m being tortured. C’mon Pads. Give me something. I’m simultaneously losing in Fantasy Football. I can’t ask for much with the Radiohead announcement in mind but a Padres win could make Joe a very happy man.

We’re going to the top of the 12^th… Let’s go Pads!!

Blotter: Mexico Quiero Taco Bell, Ebert's a Big Thumb, Bubba No-Tep, Venice in Macau, and Owen Wilson's Darjeeling Limitations

This is what I intended for this blog to be but it has turned personal and full of stupidity and music/ concert/movie reviews but here's some of the most interesting/humorous stories I read recently.



"There must be a million joints that sell tacos in Mexico. Soon, there will be one more: In late September, Taco Bell will open a restaurant in the northeastern city of Monterrey. De verdad... American brands have cachet among Mexico's middle class, he says, adding that the chain's "Mexican-inspired" food is not attempting to pass itself off as local. "We're not trying to replicate the options consumers already have," he says." (Business Week)

Good idea Taco Bell. I think it should be illegal that the company that owns the food efforts of Taco Bell should not be allowed to use the word "Yum!" but preferably Yuch! They also own Pizza Crap, I mean Hut, and KFC (not Kentucky Fried Chicken).

"Film critic Roger Ebert said he never gave a “thumbs down” to the use of thumbs in reviews for “At the Movies with Ebert & Roeper” during contract negotiations. In a statement released Friday to The Associated Press, the TV show’s distributor, Disney-ABC Domestic Television, said Ebert had “exercised his right to withhold use of the ‘thumbs’ until a new contract is signed.” Ebert is a copyright holder on the signature “thumbs up-thumbs down” judgment that’s part of each film review." (MSNBC)

What is an offensively low offer for a guy who was on his deathbed and still can't appear on TV because he can't speak? And for g-d's sakes, don't withhold the thumb, how will people form Iowa know what to see this weekend?



Here's some sad news for fans of the new cult classic Bubba Ho-Tep starring Bruce Campbell. For those who don't who he is still, he can currently be seen singing "Hungry Like a Wolf" Liberace style during commercial breaks for Old Spice:

"There's been trouble in Bubba paradise for a while now. In June, Bruce Campbell knew nothing about the Bubba Ho-Tep sequel, Bubba Nosferatu. A few days ago, Paul Giamatti said that ol' Elvis was "waffling" on the idea. Now, it's time to put Bubba Campbell dreams to bed, because Bruce has out and out said he won't be involved. The actor recently appeared on Fangoria Radio, and said: '[Bubba Nosferatu] is dead to me. It sleeps with the fishes. Don Coscarelli is a very passionate filmmaker. We got to a few points [developing the screenplay] that we couldn't reconcile. I want to keep our friendship, so we parted ways. So, I'm not part of that project.' (Cinematical)

World's largest casino is in now in Macau. This thing is fucking enormous. Would anyone like to take a quick gambling trip?

"Las Vegas Sands claims the 10.5 million square feet (945,000 square meters) Venetian - twice the size of the Las Vegas original - is the largest building in Asia and the second largest in the world. Boeing Co. claims it has the world's largest building - a plant in the northwestern U.S. state of Washington. The Venetian boasts what it claims to be the world's largest gaming space of 550,000 square feet (50,000 square meters), housing 3,400 slot machines - with room to expand to 6,000 - and more than 800 gambling tables. It has 3,000 rooms, a 15,000-seat sports arena, retail space for 350 stores, 1.2 million square feet (108,000 square meters) of convention space, fine dining and a Cirque du Soleil-produced show. "(AOL News)

When I first heard about Owen Wilson's apparent suicide attempt, I was saddened and a bit shocked. That cocky, easygoing motherfucker from The Wedding Crashers and Zoolander. But the next thing that came to mind was the scene in The Royal Tenenbaums when his brother Luke playing an aged tennis prodigy has one of the most dramatic suicide scenes in recent memory. And you would think he'd try this after making movies like I Spy, The Big Bounce, and Shanghai Knights.

MTV has an interesting article talking about how this attempt might effect future roles. Although we are only about 2 months away from Wes Anderson's latest film The Darjeeling Limited starring Owen and the triumphant Anderson return of Jason Schwartman, along with Senor Schnozz and Oscar winner Adrien Brody. It's amazing that this might effect his ability to be properly seen by audiences in comedies. I think it's preposterous. There was always a little dark side and hurt/brooding in Wilson's eyes that made his characters seem that much more genuine and I don't think that will ever dissapate.

"In the few days since Owen Wilson was hospitalized for an apparent suicide attempt on Sunday, many have already been speculating what this means for the comedy star's career. As Wilson continues to recover in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, several of his upcoming projects have already been affected. According to Variety, Wilson has dropped out of a starring role in the Ben Stiller-directed comedy "Tropic Thunder," which he was scheduled to begin filming in Hawaii within the next few weeks. It is unknown if Wilson's role will be cut or recast for the movie, which also features Stiller, Jack Black and Nick Nolte, as well as a rumored cameo by Tom Cruise. The film's co-writer, Justin Theroux, recently described the plot to MTV News as "a bunch of actors going to make the biggest-budget war movie and getting lost in the jungle. And they end up fighting an unseen enemy and thinking they're fighting a real war." "Tropic Thunder" would have re-teamed Wilson with Stiller once again after such successes as "Night at the Museum," "Starsky & Hutch" and "Zoolander." Wilson will next be seen onscreen in "The Darjeeling Limited," directed by Wes Anderson. The film is set to debut at the Venice Film Festival next week and will screen at the New York Film Festival before its release on September 29. Wilson plays one of three brothers in the film (alongside Jason Schwartzman and Adrien Brody) who take a train trip through India after the death of their father. Wilson's close friendship with Anderson has been perhaps the most important creative partnership in his career. The two collaborated on "Bottle Rocket," the 1996 cult film that launched Anderson and spawned the first major interest in Wilson. The two went on to co-write "The Royal Tenenbaums," in which Wilson co-starred, as a drug addict, alongside his brother Luke. Their screenplay earned Wilson his sole Academy Award nomination. Wilson's hospitalization would seem to pose a marketing challenge for Fox Searchlight with "Darjeeling," a film that rests squarely on its biggest star's shoulders. However, Hollywood Elsewhere columnist Jeffrey Wells believes Wilson's part in the film actually mirrors his current situation. "This probably doesn't help 'Darjeeling,' but I don't think it will hurt either," Wells said. "Everyone is now thinking of Owen as a f---ed-up guy with issues to solve, and his Darjeeling character is a f---ed-up guy with issues to solve." Calls to Fox Searchlight inquiring about any plans to adjust the film's release strategy had not been returned at press time." (MTV)

Balls of Fury was released. The reviews are not too good, but what do you expect? 25% positive and none are really glowing positives. I'll get over there and see it.