I Read Something... Dec 30, 2010

Happy Almost New Years!

If there is one thing uber-Stuff White People Like that, it would be the snobbiness for my love of Criterion DVDs. If you don't know what the Criterion Collection is, the easiest way to explain it is to think of the movie geek who thinks he is the coolest and most knowledgeable person regarding film in the room. If you looked at his DVD shelf, there would be at least a few rows of these DVDs in pristine condition.

This would be your average Criterion cover:



Criterion editions of modern films usually repackage the entire film with new artwork as well as a high quality transfer of the actual film and additional bonus materials that usually would only be interesting to people who would pay for this highly overpriced version since they start at about $30 retail. Long story short, it seems that for a while now people have been posting their own fake covers of Criterion editions that were never made. There is a huge running thread on Criterion's own message boards that started back in 2005, but these seem to be homages to people's favorite films. Now the world has moved on to a smarter tack, covers of films that will never be released because they are, in most cases, awful.

The best compilation of them that I can find outside of a few message boards is a tumblr but hear are a few of my favorites.




All I can say is awesome!  The cover that manages to portray a pure cash grab as a Ozu film.



Might have to rewatch this one after seeing the Kurosawa-esque treatment.



Remember this piece of genius... Kindergarten Cop without Arnold.


(kinda looks like Fargo).

and my personal fave...




This all made me think of something. Remember Sleeveface?

Looking for something interesting a meaty to read but don't feel like starting a book. Longform.org always has an assortment of great articles past and present and they have been posting their best of 2010 including a 6-part "blog entry"/essay by documentary filmmaker Errol Morris, maker of The Thin Blue Line, Gates of Heaven, Fast, Cheap & Out of Control, The Fog of War and the list goes on... With a mouthful of a title, "The Anosognonosic's Dilemma: Something's Wrong but You'll Never Know What It Is." The site also featured an excellent article I recently read by Zadie Smith from the New York Review of Books that takes an in-depth look at the 2010 Best Picture Oscar frontrunner.

Ugly sweater parties seem to be all the rage. Fast Company posted an article about this renewed, ironic love of the yuletide body warmer in "The Ugly Christmas Sweater Renaissance, Fueled by Google." 

Have you heard about Google's Books Ngram Viewer? It is a very interesting tool that google had unleashed on world, allowing it to waste more and more time in a new, interesting way. The Atlantic Wire has a breakdown of its amazingness.

And last but not least Esquire has posted some of the What I've Learned Lists that feature famous/important people dling out lessons, some are boring like George W. Bush and then there's people like Samuel L. Jackson and Danny Devito. Mr. Devito divulged this insider tidbit:

When you were a kid, you used to hear, "They can allow a certain amount of rat parts in a hot dog." What do you mean you can allow a certain amount? Who says, first of all? And what are you talking about that there's rat parts in my hot dog? Are you kidding me? The Food and Drug Administration allows it? What? Who gave them the permission to allow rat parts in my hot dog? They say, "Well, there's no way to get them out." Well, who put them in in the first place?

Thank the Lord for Mr. Devito...

A Very Sunny Christmas DVD Outtake Scene