Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Summer '07: Ridiculous Sequels Upcoming Films You Might Not Have Heard Of

Summer of 2007 is the year of the mega blockbuster sequels, not unlike every year. But this year seems more ridiculous than any in history. Here;s the list of the previews you will be seeing every moment for the next 3 months of your life.

Spidey 3, Pirates 3, Shrek the Third ( very prestigious), Live Free or Die Hard AKA Die Hard 4.0 in the rest of the world, more Harry Potter, 28 Weeks Later ( A sequel to 28 Days Later with second rate cast and different director), Ocean's 13, Hostel: Part II, Fantastic 4: Rise of The Whatever, and the ridiculous $175 million dollar sequel to Bruce Almighty entitled Evan Almighty starring Steve Carell from The 40 Year Old Virgin and "The Office." That's all before August.

August has a few whoppers too. The Bourne Ultimatum, we needed more trials and tribulations of Jason Bourne. Rush Hour 3 (Chris Tucker is well worth 20 million +) and in the final week of summer Bean is back in Mr.Bean's Holiday.

That's 8 movies that are at least the third in a series. Further proof that the summer is all about over budget "proven" commodities to feed and inundate the masses.

Have you already got your tickets for Daddy Day Camp? The sequel to Daddy Day Care exchanges Eddie Murphy for Cuba Gooding Jr and adds in a new director named Fred Savage. That's right! In Hollywood, it's a good idea to put Kevin from the "Wonder Years" in charge of a movie that not one person on planet earth could possibly care about. He does have no directing experience, 2 episodes of "That's So Raven" and a few more artistic TV shows.

Add into that The Simpsons and Transformers, you've got yourself quite a summer.

Well with that busy summer, you might miss some of these quality films that won't be #1 at the box office.

Smiley Face
The chick form a Scary Movie or two stars a girl who mistakenly eats a pot brownie and enjoys her day from director Greg Araki.

The new sci-fi film from Danny Boyle (Trainspotting and 28 Days Later) stars Cillian Murphy again. Murphy is quickly broaching my most trusted actors category.

Wristcutters: A Love Story
A festival favorite finally get s a release. sounds interesting.

A remake of Theo Van Gogh's final dutch film directed and starring my all time favorite Steve Buscemi. It tells the story of a down and out journalist forced to interview and famous actress in a puff piece. Mr. Buscemi will also be making an appearance in Adam Sandler's latest romp, the gay marraige farce I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. It can't be worse than The Waterboy.

Paris, je t'aime
20 Directors make short films about Paris including the Coen Brothers, Gus Van Sant, and Tom Twyker (Run Lola Run), Wes Craven, Alfonso Cuaron (Children of Men) and Alexander Payne (Sideways, Elected). Buscemi is in the Coen Brothers segment.

Direktøren for det hele (The Boss of It All)
Lars Von Trier has been busy being a bit too much of an artistic prick but this one has a chance of redemption. An interesting story in the hands of a capable director could be quite intriguing.

Here's the IMDB plot summary:
"The owner of an IT firm wants to sell up. The trouble is that when he started his firm he invented a nonexistent company president to hide behind when unpopular steps needed taking. When potential purchasers insist on negotiating with the "Boss" face to face the owner has to take on a failed actor to play the part. The actor suddenly discovers he is a pawn in a game that goes on to sorely test his (lack of) moral fibre."

And while Balls of Fury is coming out in the fall, I can't ignore it. From the busy boys who have long ago left The State behind for the greener pastures of Reno 911! comes a ping pong comedy with Christopher Walken as pictured above, as a mythic ping pong champion. Need I say more. Although his arch enemy appears to be George Lopez. It's interesting, yet seems like it could be a mistake.

They also wrote the criminally underseen yet amazingly funny Let's Go to Prison. Refinement worth a rental. Too bad they seem to be the go to guys for fixing up shit films like Night at the Museum, The Pacifier (the Vin Diesel family comedy) and Herbie Fully Loaded. We all like free money right?

And there'a a little sneak peek into your moviegoing summer. What are you going to see?

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