Sunday, November 19, 2006

Greg Schiano is a Wood Chopping Loving Mangalore



Mangalore

-–noun

1. Gun toting, alien,villian from the mind of Luc Besson in the 1997 film
The Fifth Element.
2. Blood relatives of one Greg Schiano

Greg Schiano
-noun

1. Large head coach of the longest running waste of space in the history of American College, Rutgers University.

2. A man who loves to chop wood.

3. An alien cousin who has a lifetime contrat by one Rutgers University.


I've been thinking about this for a long time. But I haven't been angry enough to actual do it. I've been looking at Greg Schiano, the man who loves to chop wood between the gap in his teeth and I've been thinking, he looks so familiar. So I scrounged my brain for his lookalike. Then it came to me as Rutgers was being brutally pounded by some useless University in the state of Ohio.

The talking heads on sporting analyst shows always talk about "trap games" and "letdown games" but real teams don't actually have them. I thought, as a much frustrated Rutgers University graduate and sports fan that we had finally broke through. The miracle of unstoppable success had happened and been spearheaded by the wood chopper. But the woodchopper was too busy all week giving the same interview that I must have heard on every single sports channel in the universe to every single host to make up a gmaeplan to take of business and beat up on the lowly Cincinatti bear Cats. Rutgers was #6 in the polls, not a mistake or a joke for the first time in the history of my lifetime. But you know it had to end badly.

What the fuck Mangalore Schiano. I hope that after this game you looked more like your cousins than your goofy self in that locker room. Get in that locker room, guns blazing and mow down Mr. Interception Mike Teel. I knew he would be the reason. I thought he was Rutgers would fall last week. But he makes no mistakes in the big game but makes them all in the letdown game, a game where the opposing starting QB had never started a game before and looked like John Elway looking 80 yard Touchdowns. It's not all Teel, the useless RU receivers got their dropsies back on many occasions, but theycan'ty drop balls that are five yards away from them and directly headed into a Cincinnatii linebacker's stomach.

Schiano is a wood chopping Mangalore and until he beats West Virginia and Syracuse back to back, he will not revert to classification as a Mongaloid. You better not fucking blow this season Schiano, not even if you have to make Ray Rice the QB and have him run every play.

I implore the Rutgers University to blow this once in a lifetimeopportunityy to gain some respect. No more letdowns for the sake of the wishy washy Tri-State Area fans because as we know the Big East is too good in Basketball for Rutgers to ever compete. The conference in football is subpar. We had a chance of greatness, now we have a chance to show some heart. Let's go Knights. Take care of business against those abysmal Orangemen and then bullrush those Mountaineers.

R?

1 comment:

kate said...

very nice. how much?