I Read Something The Other Day

Best of Nov/Dec 2011 Magazines & Periodicals Round-up Part I: A Visualization of Martin Scorcese's Career, Birth Control & Wi-Fi Cancer, Soccer Causes Brain Damage, Afghani Sesame Street Notable Missing Characters and more

2012-01-11T02:25:00.000-05:00

The best of film list has been delayed I can see enough of the prospective contenders of 2011. So instead, some quick news tidbits that you might have missed in the news. They might be interesting conversation starters.

From BusinessWeek.

Wondering why Italy's economy is in trouble? Take a look at a few interesting Italian worker statistics from the article"Italy's Labor Pains" :

On average, Italian workers spend almost six times as many hours on strike as their German counterparts, according to the European Industrial Relations Observatory.
Italy supports a class of workers who, though universally despised, are the most pampered in the country. Most of the year they enjoy a roughly two-day workweek, for which they receive an aftertax salary of $90,000 per annum, plus a $5,500 living allowance and a similar sum for expenses. They get free plane and train tickets, meals subsidized by taxpayers, free seats at premier soccer games, and a generous pension that kicks in after just five years of service. They’re the country’s politicians. Any reform of Italy’s workforce will have to start with them.

Here's a novel idea pharmaceutical giant Roche in Germany is offering a money back guarantee if there cancer drug Avastin fails you.

Three types of people you should fire immediately.

Why zany James Altucher is a beacon of hope for the post-crash world and you should be reading his blog (and the comic book he's inspired)?

Fast Company's Infographic showing the wide range of Martin Scorcese's varied film making career:

And here's a few interesting tidbits I ripped out and saved from The Week (literally).

Research from the UK says smart kids are more likely to take drugs. Girls between the ages of 5 and 10 who score in the top third on IQ tests are more than twice as likely to try marijuana or cocaine by age 30 as their lower-scoring peers.
Hormones found in birth control pills may be increasing men's risk of prostate cancer according to Canadian research. So women trying to avoid pregnancy are causing men cancer? A recompense?
On average, someone is murdered every seven and a half hours in Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico's per capita rate of drug homicides is now higher than Mexico's. (via Washington Post)
A quote from Arthur Schopenhauer, "Talent hits a target no one else can hit; genius hits a target no one else can see."
Gallup Survey: Americans are getting heavier, a shocker. The average American male now reports weighing 196 pounds, up from 180 in 1990. The average female claims 160 up from 142. Yet only 39 percent say they're overweight while 56 percent say they're "just right." Like Goldilocks' porridge.
The interesting work of artist CJ Pyle.


"The Audible Strains of Clarence White" C J Pyle

Dutch Christmas causes cries of racism. Why? Because all of Santa's (Sinterklaas) little helper in the Netherlands is Black Peter. Peter is done up in blackface. According to an editorial in De Telegraaf, "Black Peters are an integral part of a Dutch custom that has long been one of the country’s most important traditions and vital to our national heritage. And these sourpusses can’t change that.”
Via WebMD.com: Sitting still for long stretches increases your cancer risk. Research shows that 49,000 cases of breast cancer and 43,000 cases of colon cancer can be prevented each year if people just stood up more often. So the computers are causing carpal tunnel, eye strain, and cancer... but they make things much more efficient.
Oh, I forgot. Using Wifi on a laptop can damage sperm too. Thanks COMPUTERS! (BBC)
Heading soccer balls linked to Brain Damage. Soccer moms, turn those vans around!
Explorer Ranulph Fiennes's very adept quote from The Times of India: "There's no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing."
From Fortune, Americans last year filled 254 million prescriptions for opioid painkillers like OxyContin and Percocet - enough to medicate every American adult around the clock for a month.
The US is one of a handful of countries including Swaziland and Papua New Guinea that do not require paid maternity leaves for mothers.
Afghanistan now has it's own Sesame Street as part of a government educational effort since at least 1/3 of Afghani children do not attend school. Funded by the US Embassy, it features many of the American Sesame Street characters but not Oscar the Grouch, who love of trash doesn't translate and not the Count, whose fangs perplexed viewers.
And last but not least, is e-mail obsolete? "Atos, Europe’s largest IT firm, thinks so. The company last week announced that it was banning internal email, as CEO Thierry Breton thinks that 90 percent of messages sent between employees are a waste of time. Instead, Breton wants his 74,000 staff members to talk to one another in person or on the phone, and switch to “real time” messaging tools like Facebook."

Best of 2011: Top 25 Albums of the Year (plus a long list of honorable mentions) and a spotify playlist

2011-12-21T22:34:00.000-05:00

Oh 2011, good riddance. You've been a decent year but the media/arts output especially in music has been critically underwhelming. Maybe some recent years have been so good that we've come to expect a musical revolution to occur every year. If there was a year worthy of skipping lists and contenders with the increasing influx of releases from all angles, you'd be a good year to set a precedence.

There's some good stuff in you but all time classics that will continually pop up in a collection are few and far between. Opening a new decade is a tough job but when the 2010's are up, you will hardly be remembered or mentioned. Either way, a year is over and the kids want a list so here it is.

It's a Corporate World by Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.

The top of the heap goes to a debut that I've been anticipating for quite a while after getting a taste of their 2010 Horse Power EP. The promise carried over in a eclectic collection of jangly, infectious pop.

Full of effervescent energy, vigor and craftsmanship, It's A Corporate World delivers track after track. Catchy, peppy, and invigorating from the word go.

Despite the perceived silly name, DEJJ have a cacophony of vibes to impart on a listener, looking for hook-filled pop perfection.

It may not be the most daring, challenging, or coolest album in history but credit the quality, consistency, and whistle-ability for making it easily the most worn out LP (digitally of course) across my music collection in 2011.
Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming by M83
Zonoscope by Cut Copy
Apocalypse by Bill Callahan
Let England Shake by PJ Harvey (Welcome back Ms. Harvey.)
Days by Real Estate
Smoke Ring for My Halo by Kurt Vile
Drive(Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)
Only four songs besides the high quality Cliff Martinez instrumentals but those four tracks are infinitely awesome.
In The Mountain, In the Cloud by Portugal. The Man
The Year of Hibernation by Youth Lagoon
Reptilians by Starfuckers
Bon Iver by Bon Iver
Father, Son, Holy Ghost by Girls
The King of Limbs by Radiohead
They are my all-time favorite band and this may be a bit of posterity reach but it's my f'in list.
Gimme Some by Peter Bjorn and John
Everyone was on board after "Young Folks" but then completely lost interest yet these Scandanavians can really write a catchy tune.
No Color by Dodos
Another "it" band from a few years back didn't get enough love for their follow up.
The WholeLove by Wilco
HelplessnessBlues by Fleet Foxes
12Desperate Straight Lines by Telekinesis
Their last effort was amazing. This album is pretty high quality.
LivingRoom Songs by Olafur Arnalds
Dye It Blonde by Smith Westerns
Circuital by My Morning Jacket
Tomboy by Panda Bear
Bad as Me by Tom Waits
Build aRocket Boys by Elbow

Honorable Mentions ('cause they all deserve some credit)

Part Lies Part Heart Part Truth Part Garbage: 1982-2011 by R.E.M.

Greatest hits aren't eligible for the list but in honor of the recent demise, pack some R.E.M into a playlist before the New Year. I mean, what's a holiday mix without some "E-Bow the Letter"? Even their latest record had some pretty good tracks.

Tago Mago (40^th Anniversary Edition) by Can

Don't usually do reissues either but I love me some Can and Tago Mago is a good gateway drug from a band that is too often overlooked in the history of music.

In Light by Givers
whokill by tuneyards
DiaperIsland by Chad Van Gaalen
DivineProvidence by Deer Tick
Within and Without by Washed Out
SlaveAmbient by The War on Drugs
Era Extrana by Neon Indian
Life Fantastic by Man Man
Goblin by Tyler the Creator
Thursday by The Weeknd
C’mon by Low
Kiss Each Other Clean by Iron & Wine

And don't forget your free parting gift/goody bag, a lengthy Best of 2011 Spotify Mix, 5 hours full of the best that the year had to offer (although some great sadly aren't available on there). Enjoy and Happy Holidays to you and yours!

A Glimpse at Daniel Day Lewis as Lincoln, Animated Drive, and the mentality of movie theatre crowds... I Read Something Dec. 1, 2011

2011-12-01T02:32:00.001-05:00

Well that was an extremely lengthy hiatus for no apparent reason.

How do I fill the void? A link farm of course of worthy early December reading.

Surprisingly, I just recently started reading the in-depth peices on Observations on Film Art. A recent lengthy piece talking about the mentality of people and where they sit in a movie theatre is fascinating. Personally, I don't understand sitting in the back of a theatre unless it is 3D. But we all know 3D is a joke and that craze is slowly dying (again), mostly because people figured out it isn't worth it to pay 25% more to see a movie pop out at you and give you headaches.

No matter what your view on historical biopics, there is no way not to get excited after seeing this.

That is Daniel Day Lewis between takes of a Lincoln biopic for Spielberg. Found that via Comingsoon.

Also from ComingSoon, Micheal Fassbender is quickly rocketing up my list of actors who make films must-sees. It appears Christain Bale has bailed on the next Darren Aronofosky flick and Fassbender might just have to step into a role of biblical proportions. Literally. Noah. The guy with the Ark and the animals.

After criminal oversight/BS-rules of the Academy last year Daft Punk is belatedly getting its due with a Grammy nomination for the Tron: Legacy soundtrack. Probably one of the most triumphant and innovative scores in years. (FirstShowing)

Gosling's Drive, not to be confused with Driver or Drive Faster, gets a cool animated tribute.

(FirstShowing)

Check back soon as the best of 2011 lists will be popping up shortly, maybe with a Christmas treat as well. A best in film, music and maybe even a compilation of books I've read. Although I have to get back to the books to meet my goal of 40 read this year. Can't wait for the list, check out my goodreads profile.

Not as many books read as last year, but I have been a bit busy with the new business I've started. (Shameless plug: If you are not happy with your Wireless Internet Speed or feel insecure about network security, check out FlashRouters.com, providing high speed routers with modified firmware for increased speed, security, and more integrated capabilities.

I will not ignore as much in the future. And if you get a chance, I've started up an overlooked film/music blog called You've Missed A Lot.

There's Something About ... Jason Statham - Is He The Most Reliable Action Star of the 2000s?

2011-08-25T21:39:00.002-04:00

Many actors play the same role perpetually but few make it consistently enjoyable to watch without wearing out their welcome. The most prevalent category of actors who fill these roles in a marquee topping capacity are action stars. In the 80's and 90's, there was the usual suspects: Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwartzenegger, Bruce Willis (who has left this category and then returned), and on the lower end there is the Steven Seagal, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren (small window) and Wesley Snipes (tax evading, black militant specialist).

Watching the basically unreleased stateside UK film Blitz, it dawned on me that the lone candidate successfully filling this void in the last decade is Jason Statham. (You could count Jackie Chan and Jet Li too but their sustained careers are stuck an alternate kung-fu niche).

Statham differs from the top-tier action stars in their heydays. He doesn't play superheroes or headline $100 million dollar budgets with action figures and rides at theme parks. His films are budgeted in the $20-$50 million dollar range and his action sequences are primarily in hand to hand combat with surrounding tools, not usually guns or knives but the lethal weapons on the ends on his arms.

Despite the fact that you know you are seeing slightly varied versions of the same stories, Statham films are more-than-watchable, even in some circumstances highly enjoyable. But I don't see a Oscar-winning-type serious role in his future.

For many, his breakthrough performance came in Guy Ritchie's debut and apex Lock, Stock, & Two Smoking Barrels. The film is an overlooked visual feast that is very influential and a bit ahead of its time visually in a lot of the recent action/caper flicks since it's release. (too bad it's all been downhill for Ritchie with the Lock Stock repetition that featured Brad Pitt in Snatch but most recently failing with the big budget could-have-been-excellent Sherlock Holmes.)

Maybe it's that deep voice with that threatening UK-drawl, a touch of humor with a smirk, but a boatload of beatings being doled out. You know what you are going to get but you still show up to the theater and stop on the flicks while surfing through the channels. Is there really a need for three Transporter films? Guess not. How about a remake of Death Race? Surely, no.

Statham has been involved in quite a few remakes as well. Roles that have been previously done well spill down to him to be Stathamized. See: The Bank Job, The Mechanic, and even Pink Panther (Until writing this I didn't even know there was a remake of the minimalist, thriller classic 13 (Tzameti) starring him and Mickey Rourke but I know what is about to be added to the Netflix queue.)

He further cemented his spot in the list by appearing with most of the faded stars listed up above in The Expendables, which took the action star combination alchemy theorem to a different stratosphere.

Statham delivers exactly what people expect. A dark, somber, bald protagonist with his facial scruff either in a suit or casual in non casual situations who delivers action, snark, and snarl, with a high probability of a car chase and some hand to hand combat.

If you are looking for something on the super-frenetic stylistic scale, there is a Crank or Crank 2. If you are looking for you standard hit-man with a penchant for vengeance, there is The Mechanic. For practically plotless stories with excellent fight scenes and fast cars flying and exploding, there is The Transporter.

Or just a semi-interesting cop chases serial killer film like Blitz which was has been recently added to Netflix Instant. (This one has an interesting cast including Aidan Gillen, AKA Mayor Tom Carcetti from The Wire & the devilish Baelish from Games of Thrones, who, against usually the refined HBO typecasting, stands out as a deranged cop killer who refuses to wear a shirt.) With Jason Statham films, it's just different variations of vanilla ice cream. But what's wrong with vanilla ice cream?

Technorati Tags: jason statham, blitz film, crank, action star, expendables, lock stock two smoking barrels

Now Tweeting Too...

2011-08-12T22:15:00.001-04:00

Editor's note: I have caved and I tweet. Follow me @airosah.

The Long Gestating Mid-Summer Book Report - (I Read Something - Aug 12, 2011)

2011-08-12T22:07:00.002-04:00

I've been reading a lot, just not writing. It gets hot in the summer and I don't like typing outside.

Everyone loves the Facebook but why is no one on Goodreads? Is it because Goodreads involves actually reading books? Sharing and talking about books is the cornerstone of intelligence gathering. This has been replaced by listening to music while texting during movies and sharing photos of yourself. Bet Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson didn't while chat listening to OK Computer & watching The Wall. Although they may have been smoking some skanky stuff.

If they were around today, they might be talking about something interesting tracts like the two I just read, Jon Ronson's The Psychopath Test and Jonah Keri's The Extra 2%, especially if they enjoyed madness and baseball like they would now.

The Pshychopath Test by Jon Ronson

Jon Ronson is known for his interestingly quirky investigations of a wide array of topics, most notably the army's employing of psychics in The Men Who Stare at Goats (which was turned into one of the worst films in history). This book investigates the basis and historical of clinical psychosis simultaneously becoming obsessed with the PCL-R Hare Test Checklist that usually considered the best way to decipher if someone is a severe, dangerous psychopath. In it, he interviews serial murderers, rapists, war criminals, and company CEOs to try to dig for a common thread for diagnosing psychosis through his unique self-doubting, self-deprecating investigational style.

The Extra 2%: How Wall Street Strategies Took a Major League Baseball Team from Worst to First by Jonah Keri

Jonah Keri from ESPN and Baseball Prospectus got excellent insight on the brief but under-reported tumultuous history of the previously perpetual cellar dwellers Tampa Bay Rays and how a new management team came in with advanced analytic methods.

Anyone would see the repeated heartbreak of how Tampa Bay was the ultimate threat for many owners when negotiating for a new stadium. The best story comes at a deadline deal with the Chicago White Sox, a historic team that might shock you how close they were to actually leaving Chicago. With minute to go before a midnight deadline for striking a deal, "With midnight about to strike, (Governor)Thompson was still six votes short. The governor had only one move left. He stopped the clock." It's as genius as it is ludicrous. Since the clock didn't strike midnight, the vote didn't have to take place until he got the votes. But this is just one in a long line of dashed dreams before they got the expansion Rays.

But the real gold in this quick read is cataloging the idiosyncrasies of the penny-pinching, Micromanager Extraordinaire and original owner of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays Vincent Naimoli (that's before they lost the "Devil") who made his money as a company turnaround specialist. Here's a few of my favorite stories quoted from the book:

"He insisted on reading and signing off on the smallest documents. Naimoli wouldn't buy Internet access and by extension wouldn't arrange for email for Devil Rays employees." (Page 39)
...Naimoli forced team employees to buy specially designed Rays license plates if they wanted to park in Tropicana Field's empty main parking lot on workdays...or else be forced to park much farther out and walk a quarter-mile to their offices. This was in stark contrast to his successor Stuart Sternberg, who offered two years of free parking to everyone at Tropicana Field as a token of goodwill... ( 41)
In reference to his tyrant nature on bringing in outside food in the land of outside food AKA retiree-filled Florida "...ushers were the first line of defense against the scourge of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. If they failed to detect the contraband, though, the Devil Rays had a backup plan: Detective Naimoli. The owner sat in he stands for most games, bringing him closer to the action, and to the fans. If he spotted a fan eating outside food, he's walk over and ask where he entered the stadium. He would then calm fund out who was manning that entrance, and have that person fired on the spot...Naimoli's threats turned the D-Rays' stadium crew into unflinching supercops of snack prevention. A group of seniors hopped a bus to one game during that period. One couple within the group approached the stadium entrance, the wife in a wheelchair. Security found a bag of cashews on her and yanked them away. The elderly lady explained that she was diabetic and needed the nuts for her diet.... (end of the story: she and her husband went back and sat on the bus for the entire game) (43)
He frequented the press box, presumably on pizza patrol. He'd sometimes fly on the team plane and even ride the team bus, especially when the D-Rays were in New York. That way he could hitch a postgame life from the stadium to his NYC apartment - which was completely out of the way for everyone else - rather than springing for cab fare.

There is the humor along with high quality access/insight into the unique young minds that turned around this mess into a small market marvel under the guise of the young gun GM Andrew Friedman.

Also Read

Musician/ Writer/Actor Steve Earle's debut novel I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive has a lapsed-doctor-cum-heroin-junkie protagonist named Doc who is haunted by the ghost of Hank Williams. Doc is the go-to-guy for under the table medical issues for prostitutes, illegals and criminals for sex-trade illnesses, gunshot wounds, and pregnancy terminations around San Antonio in the late sixties. Working out of a rundown motel, Doc's inner circle and encounters form an interesting perspective of unique issues in an important time in US history. An interesting, spanglish tale of addiction, redemption, well told with Earle's gritty realistic yet ethereal writing style.

What I Learned This Week from "The Week" Magazine

2011-06-22T20:23:00.003-04:00

The Week has been one of my favorite magazines for a long time. As part of some cost-cutting measures, I let the subscription lapse a while back due to its hefty price tag. A recent Groupon for a subscription popped up so I had to jump on it. Why? Unlike many magazines, The Week isn’t discounted regularly. You won't be able to find it for $6 or $12 for a year like most popular magazines.

What The Week does best is compile and synopsize. Before the days of the news deluge and the prevalence of websites, blogs and their aggregating brethren to compile everything you want to read into a giant bloated screen of information, I got my news from The Week. The Week selects the most important items then breaks them down to nuggets of news and opinions for quick and easy consumption.

Online, there are similar places to get this type of writing. The Atlantic Wire does this in a more immediate Internet-fashion for free, yet many stories benefit from a gestation period before the opinions start flying. And what you can learn from reading The Week on important issues is your time can be better served by reading the outcome of the story rather than checking second-by-second tweeted updates from a bevy of possibly unconfirmed or unsubstantiated news sources. The public’s immediate response to all stories makes it sometimes impossible to repeal the hangover effect that linger when unsubstantiated reports turn out to be untrue. If they are reported on too heavily and too quickly, they become tiresome and lost in the shuffle with the population’s ever-shrinking attention span.

Arriving like clockwork every Friday in my mailbox, I opened this week's issue to discover recaps on the power struggle in Yemen, how the Obama Osama bump has quickly dissipated, and a reexamination of the withdrawal timeline in Afghanistan. I felt smarter already.

Next a collection of finer, quick, bullet points of silly news stories alongside boring but important stories that should matter to all. Following that, a page of US based specific stories and a two-page spread of world stories pointing to their location on the map giving readers a bonus piece of geography education (I'm as guilty as the next guy so don't lie to me and tell me you can point out Yemen on a map!)

The breakdowns continue into standard newspaper sections like business, arts & drama, and a bit of celebrity news. A highlighted selection of the best political cartoons, a rundown of what is actually worth watching on TV this week, quick new release capsule reviews in film, music, and books, unique travel and gift ideas, a snappy food section with a feature on local honey beers, and an interesting real estate section of the best properties on the market for the weekly chosen group. This time it is "Homes for Sculpture Collectors." 
 
Finishing up, there are a few obituaries, a sum up of the top columns from around the globe and one abridged version of an extended highlighted piece of writing and a news-related crossword puzzle that you can probably only finish if you actually read the magazine. All of it short, quick, informative bursts that read as streamlined yet not rushed. It's the perfect confluence of information for overworked minds that want to know what's going on in this world but can't find the time to follow it all on a consistent basis.

Here are some interesting notes from this week's The Week:
From the Chicago      Tribune: For the first time last year, American's surpassed the French      as the wine consumption leaders even though the US population is five      times the French population. Americans hate everything French except Wine      and if we are going to drink it, we better drink more than they do!
From      CBSMoneywatch.com: Those newish fun fees on baggage, extra legroom and      food provided a $21.5 billion dollar in income for airlines last year. 
A collection      of wonderful quotes including one from Mignon McLaughlin in the Bismarck      Tribune (the one newspaper I never miss reading), "No one really      listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why."      and Jimmy Cannon from the Wall Street Journal, "Sports is the toy      department of life."
I heard this      one on NPR too but the SlutWalks protests are branching      across the world like wildfire. 
A new Swedish study says couples are 40 percent more likely to split up if one partner has a commute longer than 45 minutes each way.
A reminder that I really want to see the film Submarine and read "The Sisters Brothers" by Patrick DeWitt.
An list of apps for finding cheap gas like GasBuddy, Poynt, iGasUp and more.
Jack Kevorkian died last week.
By the end of the average fifty page issue, you feel like you have just got enough of anything. Time to dispose of Time and disregard the blabbing columnists in Newsweek because spending a Saturday afternoon on the porch or in the park reading The Week will be your new favorite pastime.

I Read Something - Late May 2011 Recap: Social Media Vending Machines, Batshit Crazy Drivers, Test Tube Burgers and more.

2011-06-14T12:02:00.001-04:00

When I read something interesting in a magazine, I like to underline and rip the page out. Here's a couple of recent rip outs that I thought a few people might find interesting with links to the actual articles if available with headlines of my own.

Pepsi Social Vending Machine Sets New Low in Hyper-connectivity Social Marketing Stupidity (from InformationWeek)

Are you ready to tweet your friend a Pepsi? Can you wait for much a pain-in-the-ass it will be? And will they thank you for the empty calories and the teeth-rot? Do not tweet me any sodas. But you can now follow me at my new twitter account @airosah. I finally caved. I'm not sure why.

Test Tube Burgers To Save the World (in like 20 years or so... maybe) (from New Yorker - subscription required)

Dutch scientist Willem can Eelen was a POW in WWII who has envisioned creating meat in a lab for over 50 years but only in the last decade or so has technology caught up to his dreams. Michael Specter's interesting article covers about the small, minute baby steps in this process that could be more important to saving this planet than getting off the fossil fuels.

As documented heavily in many books such as in Jonathan Safran Foer's excellent and highly-informative memoir/polemic "Eating Animals", consumption of animal products is a leading factor in the destruction of the Earth's environment. There are always horror stories and lots of figures but here's one that continually shocks me, "...the world consumes two hundred and eighty-five million tons of meat every year-ninety pounds per person."

Ninety pounds per person or 1/4 pound per day. Basically, every person on this person eats the average 13 year old annually. And demand is rising. Seriously, this is going to be our downfall. I'm not saying anyone has to stop eating but maybe Lent should be year round or something.

Nature's Gatorade (from Bloomberg Businessweek)

This article just feeds into my own interests. I play a lot of sports and have recently the last few years been shying away from the Gatorades and Powerades that I drank growing up. I still drink them but not as much as I used to. One drink that has entered my hydration rotation is coconut water.

The quick piece talks about how this natural elixir is starting to crack the huge $7 sports drink industry as a real alternative to the mainstays including the loss of Garnett as a Gatorade endorser. According to the article, he chose with his concious to promote a healthier drink at a signifigant pay cut from his Gatorade deal. While I don't endorse buying an overpriced Zico or Vita Coca since they are ridiculously overpriced, peek into the Asian or Hispanic sections at your local market and you will find a more affordable option like Goya's Coconut Water. It's a beautiful, warm day outside, might just enjoy one myself.

Here's a good question from "What's Your Problem," The Atlantic's readers question section.

This is a question I've always had. Does the brain fill up? The question is a bit more silly and has added a new word to my vocabulary, "earworm." Earworm is a term for those annoying songs and jungles that get stuck in your head. See: FreeCreditReport.com Pirate Guy, Lady Gaga's "Poker Face," and many, many, many more.

Sometimes it seems there are more bad songs and jingles stuck in my head than anything else and companies and artists pay good money for that kind of exposure. The answer for getting rid of a annoying jingle is embrace it and don't let it annoy you. If it annoy you according to a study, it sticks longer.

Venezuelan Drivers Have a License to Drive... and Drink (from The Week & Digital Journal)

"Venezuela is very car-friendly, and even gasoline is
practically free. Traffic rules are hardly ever enforced, but Venezuela
has suspended a bus driver’s license for a year, which makes this the
first case of a suspended license.

Ramon Parra, 41, was stopped by
police for driving at a very excessive speed in a large passenger bus.
The bus was also missing one of its rear wheels.

According to Reuters,
there were more passengers on the bus than permitted by the law, and
one of the bus’s wheels was wedged in an aisle inside the bus...

Luis Fernandez, the national police chief, said that this was the very
first time that they were suspending a driver’s license for 12
consecutive months.

According to the Telegraph,
drunk drivers being tested is virtually unknown, and all types of
vehicles weave in and out of lanes, even travelling up to 100 miles an
hour...

According to Autoguide,
in 2008 is when the law to suspend licenses was enacted, but this is
the first time the law has been actually used. In Venezuela, the maximum
suspension allowed by law is five years, and that is only for killing
another person."

Remind me while I'm not visiting Venezuela to not drive on the roads at all. Do they even have roads? I know they have oil.

Board Games as Movies = Filmmaking Mathematical Equation? 'Candyland’ = ‘The Lord of the Rings,’ = Bullshit?

2011-05-24T15:56:00.010-04:00

So this story has been around for a while but now that it's going to happen, I'm getting afraid for the creativity of this country especially around the the southern west coast.

Producers are looking for names that can bring in cash. Not just stars anymore but products. First it was superheros, then comic books, then video games, and now it's board games.

According to a post by EW, screenwriter Johnathan Aibel, of Kung Fu Panda heritage, says he is looking to Candy Land as a sort of Lord of the Rings with candy. Of course J.R.R. Tolkien wrote thousands of pages creating various worlds, creatures and characters and he gets to create it all from a couple of cards and glued paper.

Here's a quote from the piece where the writer boils down the comparison:

...the domains of the nefarious Duke of Swirl and Lord Licorice and into King Kandy’s scrumptious kingdom. But what if the Cupcake Commons were, say, the Shire, and the Chocolate Mountains were Mordor?

Right. Well enjoy the paycheck. It will be all you have after this turd arrives DOA. Then go write Kung Fu Panda 3 so Jack Black can have one successful role to continue playing as his career devolves into a string of flops, bombs, and boring crap that tosses away the greatness of his Tenacious D roots.

Board games. You know the things that people under the age of 18 don't know exist. The things they receive on holidays from their parents and toss aside like socks between the iPods, the iPads, the flips, and the $400 pair of jeans that won't fit them within a year. The things that parents dream about rolling out onto the dining room table and having a family night without the distraction of virulent flashing images, snarky comedy, and half naked teenagers and twenty-somethings slapping each other.

A board game is a cellophane box covered cardboard box full plastic pieces, paper cards, and a colorfull cardboard playing surface along with instructions (which kids don't use anymore) will now become Alice in Wonderland with candy. Isn't there already a great magical candy movie? Willy Wonka. That was already remade with some success. In fact, it was by the same crew (Johnny Depp, Tim Burton et al) who made Alice in Wonderland (in 3D of course)

Dirty Scrabble (from Inquisitr)

Did you know that Scrabble used to be played primarily with wooden tiles on a piece of cardboard until a few years ago? It didn't even spell check your words for you before you submitted it. You actually had to know words and how to spell them, not just get an extra app that helps you cheat in Scrabble by typing your letters in it and it gives you words.

There's even amazing documentary about the craziest of them from 2007 call Word Wars.

Here's the only mathematical equation that matters to Hollywood execs. People love candy, fantasy, magical lands, and movies so if we combine all these together, we're going to rolling in sweet sweet moolah.

If it is epic like Lord of the Rings but is targeted at the Barbie loving crowd, who the fuck is going to watch it?

Don't even get me started on the estimated $200 million being spent on a movie from the director of Hancock about big boats in the water taking the title of a board game with little plastic pieces and a plastic frame, that ended with the exclamation of "Battleship sunk!" You know, because people love battleships, and explosions, blood, war, and special effects. I have a feeling the words "piles of cash sunk" will be coming around during the summer of 2012.

One thing I'm sure of, both of these movies will be one of 100 movies to be released in 3D in the next year. Every movie will only be in 3D next year. I hate 3D movies. Another reason to stop going to theaters besides the fact that the prices keep going up as the quality goes down the poop shoot. Here comes the summer Hollywood, surprise me. Make me a believer again!

Screw "Pirates of the Carribean" 8 or Whatever, The Fear & Loathing Prequel "The Rum Diary" is the Johnny Depp Movie of 2011 Worth Ponying Up For

2011-05-07T16:00:00.000-04:00

The blockbuster movie season is upon us after the ridiculously huge opening weekend for Fast Five and the release of Thor into a billion screens this weekend. In a few weeks, people will flock to see the latest installment of Pirates of the Caribbean, a franchise that should have died after two films. What's the subtitle this time? On Stranger Tides. Someone gets paid to come up with these titles.

It is pure insanity that people continue to go see these movies. It's shit and it's not even that swashbuckling. Who woulda thunk a film based on a ride at Disneyland would require at least six parts? I know Johnny has to pay for that private island he owns but let Jack Sparrow die already. On the other hand, if he's going to make movies like The Tourist maybe he should just keep making those Pirates.

But On October 28, Johnny Depp might have a chance to redeem himself for the last few years. Reuniting with a now-deceased-collaborator in gonzo journalist extraordinaire Hunter S. Thompson in a film adaptation of The Rum Diary, Depp won't be reprising his role as Hunter himself, yet will undoubtedly he will invoke his spirit for the portrayal. NME recently published an interview piece with Depp about the project in which he reveled that he promised Hunter he's make the film.

Director Terry Gilliam, visionary master of the surreal from the previous Thompson based Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, will not be at the helm either. Bruce Robinson will be taking the chair, whose most famous credits are 20+ years ago in How To Get Ahead in Advertising and Withnial & I.

The premise of The Rum Diary (from Wikipedia)

Paul Kemp (Johnny Depp) is an itinerant journalist who tires of New York and America under the Eisenhower administration and travels to Puerto Rico to write for The San Juan Star. Kemp begins the habit of drinking rum and becomes obsessed with the woman Chenault (Amber Heard).

Sounds about right. Throw in a role for Aaron Echhart and I know where I'll be on October 28. It's the same place that I won't be whenever that stupid Pirates waste of time drops and gobbles up a Titanic-sized load of cash. Even with Penelope Cruz and Ian McShane join the adventure, I'll pass. Well, I'll probably cave since I see every film but I WON'T LIKE IT. Damn you, Swearengen.

Related Links

The Rum Diary - IMDB
Aaron Eckhart Interview on The Rum Diary - Movieweb
The Rum Diary (novel) - Wikipedia

Sorry Mac Lovers, You Are Susceptible to Viruses!!

2011-05-06T00:46:00.003-04:00

I can't be the only one to be excited to hear the news. Macs get viruses!!

The ultimate argument of Apple hoity-toity kings for their overpriced closed-end devices besides the super-sleek design and all that good stuff is that PCs get viruses.

Windows users have all had a run in with the popular trend of the Anti-Virus viruses. They suck. You got one, or your parents, or your grandparents or all of them. Well now Macs have their own special "Fake, Malicious Antivirus Program." The virus/program is called MAC Defender. (Very creative virus guys, can't we get a pun here?)

So eat it Mac chauvinists. You're just as susecptible as the rest of us lowly, shallow pocketed Windows users. Welcome to the world of pain in the ass viruses!

(via Geekosystem)

Why Kids Hug Mike Tyson (and Frank Rich probably left the New York Times)?

2011-03-10T02:41:00.002-05:00

I read a lot. I subscribe to way too many magazines and I know it (despite my pleas that I have been cutting down like a smoker delaying the inevitable). Still, my justification is that I truly try to read them all in a timely manner. Despite the growing pile on a daily basis, certain new deliveries always skip to the top (besides the obligatory action of skipping weeklies ahead of monthlies so they don't get outdated in my mind). The weekly that always jumps to the head of the pile is New York Magazine.

A hole developed inside of my reading soul for approximately 6 months as I allowed my subscription lapse due to the (not really) prohibitive cost that New York was asking for in their renewal notice. The innate Jewry in me insisted, "Wait it out, they will come down to your price." Magazine pricing disease is a dreary part of the internet era of price comparison. You know you've seen it cheaper before so you refuse to pay the price they are asking if it's not as cheap as the subscription that got you hooked in the first place. In this case that previous price was free as part of some offer somewhere that I can't recall. Free magazines make me think of drug dealers who give you a taste to get hooked and then ratchet up that price tag when you can't live without it. I guess that is the basis of any business where you are able to provide samples, legitimately run or not.

There's a point here somewhere. Flipping through the latest issue of New York Magazine, it is obvious to me why a popular New York Times columnist would leave. To join New York Magazine is to join something less time consuming and more vibrant. The Atlantic Wire has a whole list of the reshuffling at the "Paper of Record," but it's not a joke that newspaper, even those held in high esteem, are quickly becoming unnecessary, especially to those whom advertisers covet the most, the young and wealthy. I'm sure really wealthy people have time to sit down every day and peruse a whole newspaper full of stuff they don't want to read to get to things they do want to read. New York Magazine is almost always full of a perfect blend of well thought out pieces side-by-side with snarky fluff that informs while making you chuckle. Does the New York Times make you chuckle? To be honest, I don't know but I doubt it because I am young(ish) and don't have a subscription and I never actually go to a newsstand to "pick it up."

Let's take a small sampling from this week's issue as an example starting with what could be the most goldmine-ridden one page profile in history. I have read plenty of stuff on Mike Tyson. The man was Charlie Sheen way before Charlie Sheen was the Charlie Sheen that now everyone can't stop talking about. (Very quick aside: Who watches Two and a Half Men? What is the country coming to when this is the number one comedy on TV by ratings?) Tyson did the drugs, the hookers, the blowing of money years ago as well the crazy face tattooing, the exotic pet collecting and the pummeling of men into oblivion. He bit a off a chunk of Holyfield's ear. He has that ridiculous voice and rarely has a censor blocking him from saying things he should never say. If you've got about nine minutes, here's a fantastic recap of his potent quotables:

Note to self, Tyson loves the word fornication. Focus! "81 Minutes With Mike Tyson" was the subject of this issue's recurring short time frame interview piece. If you didn't know, Tyson is so interesting that he was able to sell the ambigously titled "Taking on Tyson" called to Animal Planet about his true passion, pigeon racing. I'm sure the show wasn't picked up because this man is walking, talking, idiosyncratic train wreck full of sound-bytes. Look no further than this piece by Geoffrey Gray which, in a matter of 800 words, will force you to set your DVR.

On his family friendly show, Tyson opines, :“Isn’t it crazy?...I go from being this horrible guy, this rapist, this psycho-man walking the streets … and now when I see these young kids on the street, they give me hugs … Ain’t that some shit?”

Don't forget to ask Tyson which animal he thinks he would be. The answer is not pigeon.

“I’d like to be a lion, but I think I’m a wolverine ...They’re like big giant rats. They’re about 50 pounds and fearless. They fight to the death. They don’t move fast. They walk slow because they’re not afraid of nothing. That’s how I think. And they can be a little reckless... I’d like to be a lion and have lion status: to make other people do my work and get the credit for it.”

And Mike the sage, aged philosopher can't neglect to espouse some contemplations on life: "You realize when you get older that life is not about acquiring shit, it’s about losing shit,” he says. “You lose your hair, your teeth, your loved ones.”

Illustration by Andy Friedman (from NY Mag)

Turn the page and you have a sports column by Will Leitch entitled "Cashman's Burden" that will never grace the pages of the Grey Lady. The topic, Brian Cashman - GM of the Yankees, would be covered but the style is left for alternative opinion sources. Anyone who knows me knows I hate the Yankees and would most likely skip this piece if it appeared in any other location. After a standard opening section, Leitch turns up the humor. "Unless Cashman suddenly has a psychotic break and starts dropping truth bombs about the past 25 years of his life, we’ll never know what sort of hoops he had to leap through to survive two and a half decades in the Yankees organization."

Writing about the difference between the stark supporting cast difference between Cashman and Boston GM Theo Epstein, "Epstein can walk down the hall and talk to Bill James; Cashman is stuck running into Hank Steinbrenner on his smoke breaks." Cashman gets to talk to a rich money counter and son of a belligerent a-hole of an owner while Epstein bounces ideas off of Bill James, a statistician who basically created modern theories of how to build a baseball team through the widely preached world of sabremetrics.

Then Leitch comes up with my new favorite line to describe the mentality of baseball's Evil Empire. "Overpaying for expensive older free agents is their birthright." I don't think I could say it better myself.

Turn the page again and you are treated to a long feature going into the interesting, yet well covered history of Broadway's newest playwrights/ South Park Creators Trey Parker & Matt Stone. The hits just keep on coming. Sure there is a skip-worthy piece here and there. I am no fashionista and don't care about dresses or the newest restaurants (since I am poor and a vegetarian which are not usually the target for a new restaurant looking to succeed.)" No rag is perfect except maybe the The Believer (if they banished that recurring "Real Life Top Ten" column that I can't stand.)

The Believer's 2011 Film Issue (cover art as always by Charles Burns)

Oh New York, how I've missed you and am so happy to caress you in my hands again. Looking forward to reading your new columnist, I hear he's good.

History of Adopt-A-Highway Program, The End of a Video Game Era, Beavis & Butthead, Fred Durst and more. - I Read Something... Highlights

2011-02-17T21:49:00.001-05:00

Want to read something quite fascinating on something that seems infinitely snooze-worthy? mental_floss has an article on the brief history of the Adopt-A-Highway program. Image above from BuzzFeed post of 30 Strange Adopt-a-Highway Signs.

Although it's a bit dated, Vulture has excellent slideshow list of 14 Music Video Directors to Watch with clips linked for each. Somewhere in there is out next Spike Jonze or Michel Gondry that will be taking film into a previously unimaginable dimension. Seems like a couple are already doing it after watching some of their clips.

And here's the quickfire link fest:

Malcolm Gladwell Book generator. Speaks for itself.
Cracked posted a quick little piece on 6 Subtle Ways You're Getting Screwed at the Grocery Store.
Did you know Jake Plummer left football so he could drink beer all day, play handball, and live in Idaho? Thanks to this lengthy Sports Illustrated profile now you do.
AP reports on the Activision with the big news being no more Guitar Heros. Guess they couldn't one-up with the Rock Band keytar.
Even though Hollywood Video doesn't exist any longer, some ex-customers are getting exorbitant late fees from its commercial grave. (/Film)
Here's something you probably never thought about: Is sex is space safe? Also from The Atlantic Wire, can the rebooted Beavis and Butthead succeed in 2011?
Fred Durst to direct movie starring Paul Walker called Pawn Shop Chronicles. For some reason this makes complete sense. (FirstShowing)
Have you heard of Gotca Falls? Seems to be no one did until this wonder was stumbled upon in 2006 in Peru. (Slate)
Wouldn't it be nice to James Cameron? In 2010, he made approximately $250 million dollars. (Cinematical)
How Steven Seagal is ruling MMA. (Bleacher Report)

There's you old pal Steve.

Kevin Smith Likes to Eat, Make Movies, Talk, and Get Paid.

2011-02-05T03:09:00.000-05:00

Would you pay to $150 bucks to watch the new Kevin Smith movie and then stay for an 5 hour chat? Well, somebody must be willing since that seems to be the going rate. Smith went to Sundance with his self-financed horror project Red State with no distributor. The film,

"about a gay-hating minister (Michael Parks) who goes on a blood-drenched rampage against an equally murderous squad of federal agents, with some sex-crazed teens stuck in the middle. In addition to Red State being a film about a cult, Smith also announced plans to leverage his own cult-fanbase to break out of the studio distribution system and put the film out there for audiences on his own. Though Smith had promised via Twitter he would auction the film to a distributor live from the stage after the premiere, it turned out to be a joke. When the auction started, he immediately “bought” the $4 million movie himself for $20..." (EW)

Smith is a very interesting guy. He's likable and has a sense of humor about himself. Too bad, his recent track record is littered with rubbish and turds. After taking the studio cash to make the bomb Cop Out, he is now attempting to re-christen himself as an filmmaking maverick, an outsider and a crusader. He is also too fat to fly Southwest.

Good luck Kev. Me and my unemployed, aspiring filmmaking brethren salute you for your gaul and are jealous that your events will probably sell out. I'll just enjoy the Evening with Kevin Smiths on my shelves that I bought used when West Coast Video was going out of business.

How to Sell Your Koala Meat? (How Amazon led me to The funniest, most ingenious satire cartoon I've seen in years)

2011-02-02T04:16:00.002-05:00

Chalk up another indebtedness to the eerily intuitive Amazon recommendation machine. Scanning through replacements for my Twin Draft Guards to help keep some of the overpriced heat in the house, a link came up for a book by an author that I'd never heard of. I almost bought it on the spot just because of the title 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides) (and because it was cheap at $7.72 as a pre-order). The laugh was immediate and guttural that I had to look into the author Matthew Inman and hope that this wasn't another I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell or something.

Mr. Inman seems to have quite a following as the driving force behind TheOatmeal.com, a home for humorous, well-thought out very visual blog posts. Clicking on the latest one, I couldn't stop laughing. Here's a sample from "How To Make Your Shopping Cart Suck Less":

Maybe it's my own history working for about a decade on a ridiculous online website that was full of these type of shopping cart mistakes and errors and this final page of advertisements after the actual purchase is exactly the type of thing my boss insisted on doing and bothered the shit out of me. It just seemed cheap and cheesy. Inman's comic is so on point and informative in a memorable way. The image above is just one small piece. The slide regarding those ridiculous "captchas," the squiggly words you have to type in just about everywhere these days.

Clicking around the site some more, the quality of work on the site is excellent. It seems that I'm late to the party but posts like the shopping cart, 15 Things Worth Knowing About Coffee, and How a Web Design Goes Straight to Hell among others are just hysterical.

Here Come The Reboots Plus Movies You Might Have Missed in 2010

2011-02-02T03:20:00.001-05:00

Guess they finally decided Morgan Freeman was too old to be Alex Cross (protagonist in Kiss The Girls & Along Came a Spider).

The film series, based on the most prolific author of schlocky crime crap in the late 20th century James Patterson, who seems to rich and busy to even write the stuff himself so he gets a "co-author" and releases a new book every month. Can't blame the guy for getting paid, quite a racket he's got going. According to his wiki, it's called collaborating with co-authors/sharing the spotlight.

With the popularity of Patterson's books, it surprised me that they haven't been all turned into movies. There are eighteen Alex Cross novels ready and waiting. Maybe they were just waiting for the right guy to take on the role.

An announcement was made last year about a reboot starring Idris Elba (AKA Stringer Bell from The Wire) helmed by David Twohy (who has a mixed bag of a career between writing The Fugitive & Waterworld while taking on direting duties as well with Pitch Black and the underrated submarine flick Below). This would be a very hit or miss proposition, yet it would have promise.

How quickly the tides can change; things can go from interesting to unwatchable before it goes into production. According to multiple sources including VeryAware the director/actor duo has morphed into a very different direction. What if I told you Tyler Perry would star as Alex Cross? Is that something you would be interested in? I didn't think so.

How about if I told you Rob Cohen, the captain of such fantastic films as xXx, The Fast & The Furious, Stealth, & Mummy 3. Dig deeper and you'll stumble onto that four-star film The Skulls starring the great Joshua Jackson and that Stallone classic Daylight, about being stuck in tunnel. Is this something you'd be even less interested in?

If you think about it, Twohy & Cohen together are responsible of introducing the world to the musclebound, baldheaded coolness of Mr. Vin Diesel. I guess if the studio is looking to start a new series of potential blockbusters Rob Cohen is their man. But to me, this just looks like another cobbling of crap to be fed down the movie going public's throats. Can you just imagine the trailer? Creepy music, the standard serial killer type premise being laid out in little blips of snappy dialogue, CSI-style room examinations, some blood, and jumpcuts of flashy action that will probably ruin the preview's tension. Sounds like a pass for me in advance.

Speaking of reboots, Warner Brothers to reboot Lethal Weapon...because they are stupid. And then they announce a Fletch reboot, which could be much more interesting as long as it doesn't go the way of Get Smart. Maybe they'll allow Joe Pesci to reprise his Lethal role. I heard he's hurting for work since that My Cousin Vinny sequel fell through.

/Film has a better than average list of films you probably haven't heard of but should check out from 2010. It is a bit of cheating since a few of them were on HBO and a few were never released in this country so that's why you haven't heard of it. The list has a few of the usual suspects like Exit Through the Gift Shop, an assortment of documentaries (how many documentaries do you see in theaters per annum?), and a bunch of foreign films (how many of these do you pay to see in a year?) If the answer to either of the previous two parenthetical questions is "a couple," then this list will be of much interest to you as a film connoisseur.

Coachella Lineup Blows Breakdown, The Return of David Brent, Comcast/NBC Merger's First Casualty and more - I Read Something Roudup

2011-01-24T00:44:00.001-05:00

Coachella used to be the dream, the holy grail of US Festivals. The one rival we had on our soil to the blockbuster fests in Europe and Australia; The Benicassims, The Readings, and the Big Day Outs of the world. Even if I live on the opposite coast of California, it was still America's best compiling of talent. All the best were there, and the shit was left in the dust. One year, I finally went, and besides the unbelievable oppressive heat, it was an amazing experience. It was also the amazing headlines at the time that was the real draw: Radiohead, The Cure, The Pixies original reunion, Kraftwerk, Wilco, Belle & Sebastian, Air, Broken Social Scene, Trail of Dead, LCD Soundsystem and many more. Quality festivals should allow you a menu to taste a bunch of the smaller bands along with a giant array of bigger bands for a a decent price tag.

Here's the poster from the year I attended:

This was before the cash-in extension to a third day (analogous to the
watering down of a talent pool in professional sport by adding expansion
teams.) Maybe there are no more interesting headliners with enough to draw the huge crowds. Maybe there are no more major reunions to propose. I mean, Kings of Leon, c'mon. This is not even a reach for a headliner, it's a travesty. Who the fuck wants to see Interpol anymore?

Esquire has a nice feature on the revealed 2011 Coachella about the rate of repeats in this year's fest. Some quick tidbits from the piece:

Only 23 percent of the bands playing this year are their for the first time.
Every headliner has played before as well as most of the sub-headliners.

The most effective piece of it, is an image with all of the duplicated being covered on the poster:

via Esquire

Maybe it's time to rename it Coachella Retread instead of Coachella 2011.

According to TV Line, there is a good reason to watch The Office this week. A certain David Brent will be making a trip across the pond to visit the spin off of his classic show.

With the NFL Playoffs being the main focus of sports reporting, an interesting stories coming out regarding studies of football fans. According to doctors at the University of Minnesota who did some testing after a game, approximately eight percent of the fans tested were drunk. (via Sportsbiz) Atlantic Wire has also covered the topic with a post, as well as adding a study about fans inability to separate paid prognostication from the fervent fandom.

For the list fan out there, mental_floss also has a list of 11 NFL Rules Inspired by People.

Comcast already sucks according to many different places (including my previous experience with the cable conglomerate.) Already the worst of the internet throttlers, the FCC has finally approved their mega-merger with NBC.

The Atlantic Wire has culled a wide array of positing/nightmare scenarios from various major media outlets to come from this possibly macabre union of a major content provider with a huge distributor. Things might go smooth for a little while to avoid attention and then the shitstorm will come. Or they could fire a critical face on day one?

Well, the honeymoon period seems to be over already. The first casualty appears to be the disappearance of one of the most vocal, boisterous faces of liberal, left wing opposition in Keith Olbermann. Wired's Epicenter, along with plenty of other places is reporting that he resigned/was fired. There was a period where I often watched Keith. He was an antidote to the Bush era populism and shouting heads that actually reported news, sometimes with the humor (not close to The Daily Show) and sometimes with a necessary amount of bombastic demagoguery. Sorry to see you go Keith, hopefully it's not a sign of things to come at the "new" NBC.

No worries January. Ok? (Pic from GQ)

January Jones (bitchy Betty Draper from Mad Men) to play sexed up superhero in upcoming X-Men reboot. Hero Complex has a reporting on how she's coping with wearing an unlimited assortment of revealing costumes. She recently seems to have dated Jason Sudeikis, that should give any man hope huh?

For someone in the mood for a dreary sports piece of a city in losing turmoil, ESPN's Jerry Crasnick has a long piece called "Indians follow the Cleveland way." It's a dreary outlook for this passionate sports city with a long line of losing.

Famous Old Men Retire, Rob Lowe's Shitfit, Snow Penis, Whammy Burger, and the Illustruious Firing of a Domino's Employee - I Read Something Roundup

2011-01-18T21:49:00.001-05:00

The biggest story in a while... Regis Philbin is old and "retiring" from his gabfest on an undisclosed date in the near future. The last vestige of the great morning comedy duo known as Regis & Kathie Lee will be lost for good, unless you watch her get drunk on NBC or watch Rege on the soon to be launched RPN, if Oprah has a network Regis should have TWO by now. Rumor has it, he may "pop in" as a guest host on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" Keep your fingers crossed. Oh... and that football player who texts images of his dick as a pick up line retired to for the 12th time.

Who is that? That face on the far right is so familiar. Can't get it? Think red headed? How about vixen from one of the best shows on TV? Give up. That is the Christina Hendricks, the queen bee of ad agency secretaries Joan Halloway on Mad Men from a Playboy shoot in 1999.

Cinenamatical spotlighted a personal favorite this week in their "Scenes We Love" series, which digs back into the archive for breakdowns of great moments in cinema you may have forgotten. The highlighted segment this week is from Falling Down, where Michael Douglas' fantastic man-on-the-brink says what most people thinking after they get their fast food order.

Read the one of the more hilarious job dismissal reports via Geekologie:

REPORT: Jeopardy Super Computer Wins Practice Round vs. Jeopardy Nerd King Ken Jennings. First they will understand our language like a child, then they will take over the world.

Have you ever heard of a Snow Penis? Let the local news handle this one:

And if you didn't know, Parks & Recreation was probably the funniest show on last year and was off the air for the first part of the year but will be returning Thursday night. Adam Scott and Rob Lowe seemed to have joined the cast in a more permanent basis which should help the show continue on this path. Here's a pretty funny promo where Rob Lowe has a tantrum on set (a bit NSFW as the kids say):

I Read Something... Jan. 9, 2011 - A Tribute to Pete Postlethwaite and Chumbawamba, iPhone coming to Verizon, Who Is Mr. Portman, What Does Your State Do Best and much, much more...

2011-01-09T04:56:00.001-05:00

R.I.P. Pete Postlethwaite.

You randomly popped up as the creepy guy in many movies with that thick accent you couldn't hide and you impossible-to-pronounce-correctly last name and it was always a treat to see you. From The Lost World to the kooky but forgotten Brassed Off to Amistad to Aeon Flux. 2010 was a return to the spotlight in a way with your scene-stealing creepiness as Fergie the flower shop crime boss in Ben Affleck's The Town and an appearance in Inception, he is likely one of the few actors that will be in the cast of two Oscar-nominated movies, something will be more common with the ridiculous 10 Best Picture nominee rule.

If you are a connoisseur of 90s super hits in their LP form, the opening lines of this speech are also the opening to Chumbawamba's anthemic, uber-smash "Tubthumping" AKA to many as the I get knocked out song. There was going to be a link here to it but if you were listening to the radio then, you know the song and will never have to hear it again to actually hear it again. (If you are interested, the anarchist roots and history of the band are quite an fascinating read.) They also released an album in 2008 that held the record for longest album title as of August 2009. Here it is for your reading pleasure:

The Boy Bands Have Won, and All the Copyists and the Tribute Bands
and the TV Talent Show Producers Have Won, If We Allow Our Culture to Be
Shaped by Mimicry, Whether from Lack of Ideas or From Exaggerated
Respect. You Should Never Try to Freeze Culture. What You Can Do Is
Recycle That Culture. Take Your Older Brother's Hand-Me-Down Jacket and
Re-Style It, Re-Fashion It to the Point Where It Becomes Your Own. But
Don't Just Regurgitate Creative History, or Hold Art and Music and
Literature as Fixed, Untouchable and Kept Under Glass. The People Who
Try to 'Guard' Any Particular Form of Music Are, Like the Copyists and
Manufactured Bands, Doing It the Worst Disservice, Because the Only
Thing That You Can Do to Music That Will Damage It Is Not Change It, Not
Make It Your Own. Because Then It Dies, Then It's Over, Then It's Done,
and the Boy Bands Have Won.

Oh Chumbawamba!

Pete, every time I watched Boardwalk Empire I thought you would have fit right in. Maybe as Nucky's (Steve Buscemi) right hand man. You did play one of the greatest right hand mans in history, sort of. No one with every play a non-Asian mysterious lawyer named Kobayashi like you ever again, which makes me wonder if in 20 years they will be remaking the movies of my youth for a new generation. Could they ever really remake The Usual Suspects? I feel like that would be a mistake. Plus we wouldn't want good ole Pete to be rolling around in his grave. Thanks for the memories.

And for every death, there should be something born. Verizon to finally announce the arrival of the iPhone this Tuesday according to Gizmodo.

Wonder what lucky man made Natalie Portman pregos? Get a photographic history of the lucky man with Esquire's The Evolution of Mr. Portman.

FastCompany had an interesting info-graphic for inquiring Americans (one of many since they do have an Infographic of the Day) called Just What Does Your State Do Best? I figured my home state of New Jersey would have something to do with tomatoes or pollution but surprisingly it was not. I know now that New Jersey is "considered the best state in the country to go solar." Well, how about that? NJ, still surprising me after all these years.

Are you as surprised as me that Inside the Actors Studio is still airing new episodes? As much as I used to watch it, since cable has become a 500 channel list I forgot where Bravo even was. But James Lipton is still alive and interviewing people including his long "sought after" guest Jim Carrey, who was encouraged to do the show by Bradley Cooper.

Ever wonder what the coaches in these Coors commercials are paid? Sportsbiz has the answer. The one above featuring Coach Mora is by far the best since Coach Mora's has probably the most memorable track record.

Matt Damon remembers how he arrived at the ending for Good Will Hunting with a little help from a dinner with family friend Terrence Malick.

Patton Oswalt writes in a manifesto on how to save geek culture in Wired.

The Atlantic Wire has provided array of goodies early in this new year: a piece of Nic Cage's Worst Movie Ever, the font that promotes better reading comprehension (and it's not the one you think), and why women should shop more like men.

Xzibit claims that Pimp My Ride made him broke.

Dying to the rule the roast at Monopoly? Deadspin has scientific proof on how to to bankrupt everyone else and take home the win.

Katie Holmes is trying to ruin history.

Lifehacker has a technique for making newly gained habits (resolutions perhaps?) actually stick.

And try to figure out what kind of product this awesome commercial is for by watching it. A minute and fourteen seconds later all I can think of is Toy Story mixed with the amazing Tron:Legacy soundtrack.

I Read Something... Dec 30, 2010

2010-12-30T02:25:00.001-05:00

Happy Almost New Years!

If there is one thing uber-Stuff White People Like that, it would be the snobbiness for my love of Criterion DVDs. If you don't know what the Criterion Collection is, the easiest way to explain it is to think of the movie geek who thinks he is the coolest and most knowledgeable person regarding film in the room. If you looked at his DVD shelf, there would be at least a few rows of these DVDs in pristine condition.

This would be your average Criterion cover:

Criterion editions of modern films usually repackage the entire film with new artwork as well as a high quality transfer of the actual film and additional bonus materials that usually would only be interesting to people who would pay for this highly overpriced version since they start at about $30 retail. Long story short, it seems that for a while now people have been posting their own fake covers of Criterion editions that were never made. There is a huge running thread on Criterion's own message boards that started back in 2005, but these seem to be homages to people's favorite films. Now the world has moved on to a smarter tack, covers of films that will never be released because they are, in most cases, awful.

The best compilation of them that I can find outside of a few message boards is a tumblr but hear are a few of my favorites.

All I can say is awesome! The cover that manages to portray a pure cash grab as a Ozu film.

Might have to rewatch this one after seeing the Kurosawa-esque treatment.

Remember this piece of genius... Kindergarten Cop without Arnold.

(kinda looks like Fargo).

and my personal fave...

This all made me think of something. Remember Sleeveface?

Looking for something interesting a meaty to read but don't feel like starting a book. Longform.org always has an assortment of great articles past and present and they have been posting their best of 2010 including a 6-part "blog entry"/essay by documentary filmmaker Errol Morris, maker of The Thin Blue Line, Gates of Heaven, Fast, Cheap & Out of Control, The Fog of War and the list goes on... With a mouthful of a title, "The Anosognonosic's Dilemma: Something's Wrong but You'll Never Know What It Is." The site also featured an excellent article I recently read by Zadie Smith from the New York Review of Books that takes an in-depth look at the 2010 Best Picture Oscar frontrunner.

Ugly sweater parties seem to be all the rage. Fast Company posted an article about this renewed, ironic love of the yuletide body warmer in "The Ugly Christmas Sweater Renaissance, Fueled by Google."

Have you heard about Google's Books Ngram Viewer? It is a very interesting tool that google had unleashed on world, allowing it to waste more and more time in a new, interesting way. The Atlantic Wire has a breakdown of its amazingness.

And last but not least Esquire has posted some of the What I've Learned Lists that feature famous/important people dling out lessons, some are boring like George W. Bush and then there's people like Samuel L. Jackson and Danny Devito. Mr. Devito divulged this insider tidbit:

When you were a kid, you used to hear, "They can allow a certain amount of rat parts in a hot dog." What do you mean you can allow a certain amount? Who says, first of all? And what are you talking about that there's rat parts in my hot dog? Are you kidding me? The Food and Drug Administration allows it? What? Who gave them the permission to allow rat parts in my hot dog? They say, "Well, there's no way to get them out." Well, who put them in in the first place?

Thank the Lord for Mr. Devito...

A Very Sunny Christmas DVD Outtake Scene

Fixing Something That Was Not Broken: How to Fix the New IMDB (and revert it back to how it used to be)?

2010-12-29T02:12:00.001-05:00

Does the new IMDB bother you with clutter and too much information? IMDb was made to be a database of information adn their attempt to make it more peppy by adding more photos and the "Known For" section for each person listed. It is bothersome

If you use Google Chrome, as you should if you want the fastest/most-streamlined web browser and least buggy browser in my opinion, add the extension Less IMDb and you will have your wish. It streamlines the information when you go on an IMDb-a-thon (clicking on associated names from one movie to another leading to chains of actors like a reverse Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon). So then you can get right to the information you were looking for, namely "who the fuck is that actor and where do I know him from?"

A helpful tidbit I hope.

Best in Music: Top 20 Albums Released in 2010

2010-12-03T19:28:00.010-05:00

In my college days, I was afforded the opportunity to be an unpaid music reviewer for a highly regarded bastion of student journalism that most students picked up on a daily basis for the sole reason of folding the included crossword puzzle into shapes that could remain hidden from view while their professor provided them with another in a series of interminably boring lectures derived directly from reading material assigned out of the overpriced textbooks (which they often were involved in writing) that few students perused until it was time for an examination.

This was done especially in the 101s, the over-sized intro lectures in fields of study such as Communication, Psych, Geology and the like. Still, I prided myself on these unread reviews from the usually dispense-without-reading weekly entertainment insert supplement, the drably titled Inside Beat.

When school ended, the process of music criticism had burned me out. Besides the fact that you received limited feedback, which is a vital part of any good music writing, because of the paper's subpar web presence at the time for interaction.

Continually slogging to dreaming up musical comparisons that all began to meld together while the same observations that were heavily influenced by my own personal tastes at the time just became nonsensical and too repetitive.

Musical boundaries needed to be explored; ears needed some breathing room. While my knowledge of a large assortment of modern acts along with the bare necessity of classic artists was pretty good for my youthful age, the refined and disciplined ear might not have always been there. Also, the harshness started coming out at the end, the jaded critic taking albums just so he could prove how good he was at turning them into punching bags. While it might be fun, it's not informative and comes with tons of inbred bias that is ready to be spilled upon.

Then came the online locales that did it better (Pitchfork, Stereogum etc) and with more regularity that one man could do so I quit, for the most part, left the written view to the paid or more likely compensated by unlimited amounts of music professionals, despite the fact that this is not the perk it once was.

Yet I still listen to tons of albums and before all the tastemakers have a crack at it, setting the table for us acolytes, I'd like to throw out my own list. In order to do this, you have to get it out earlier and earlier, like stores putting out Christmas stuff in august now. So here it is.

1. Teen Dream - Beach House
Standouts: “Used To Be,” “Zebra,” “Lover of Mine,” & “Norway”

You know you have found it when you can't stop talking about it. You can't stop thinking about it and you are furious with yourself with taking a free weekend at a beach house because you missed seeing them. The ironic thing was I picked going to a beach house for the weekend over actually seeing Beach House (opening for The National). But I won't be making that mistake again as they will be coming back around in February.

The album's faint cover is like a projection of the album. Smooth, understated, and full of lush mystery. An all encompassing effort of beauty from this male/female duo with melodic harmonies that are beyond description. I never imagined I’d ever hear something so beautiful come out of Baltimore, unless you count The Wire and Homicide. But this dreamy pop is the antithesis of image that is projected on those shows. Where is the closest beach to Baltimore?

A nice bonus if you actually buy the physical disc (which is something I did but haven't done in a year or two) is that a separate DVD comes with accompanying videos for every track on the album by an assortment of artists. The videos are not genius themselves but a lovely compliment to this perfect album while reminiscing on breezy late summer evening while sticking your feet below the sand. That sounds lame, but don’t hold my inept description against Teen Dream because it is truly breathtaking.

2. Gorilla Manor - Local Natives

Standouts: “Airplanes” & “World News”

Pieces of Gorilla Manor have been out since mid-2009 from their Daytrotter Sessions EP. Filled with exuberant bursts of harmony, Gorilla Manor rancorous energy that gets restrained and then released en mass to reach beautiful musical apexes. Standout drumming and beautiful injections of perfectly placed violin are make it particularly effective.

3. Swim - Caribou
Standouts: “Leave House,” “Kaili,” & “Odessa”

Primally addictive beats by way of Canadian Daniel Smith, who has also recorded under the name Manitoba. Smith has a doctorate in Mathematics, wonder if his studies helped him figured out what will work as habit-forming hooks to the ears of listeners.

4. Before Today - Ariel Pink's Haunted Grafitti

Standouts: “Bright Lit Blue Sky,” “Round & Round,” “Beverly Kills”

& 5. Contra - Vampire Weekend
Standouts: “Horchata,” “California English,” & “Diplomat’s Son”

Addictive seems to be the motto of the year. Yet Vampire Weekend and Ariel Pink do it with disparate methods. You felt you knew what you would get from Vampire Weekend perpetually after their debut explosion yet Contra is just unfiltered catchiness with ten tracks coming in just short of thirty-seven minutes. More fleshed out musically than their debut, Contra has a heavy debt to African music while the lyrical focus drifts towards the palm trees of the west coast and away from their east coast roots.

After Ariel Pink's opening track "Hot Body Rub." you know the grooves that are to be let loose are derived from a different ilk, possibly filled with the sounds and horns of a 70's action chase scene or montage until the echoed voice of lead singer starts echoing about 2 minutes in with moans ... leading into the album's most standard track "Bright Lit Blue Skies" into wondrous triumphant synth-tastic breakdown break down of "L'estat." The songs have quite the variety but all sound directly out of a perfected late 70's/early 80's haze. While not an offical video below, it is still quite fantastic.

6. Losing Sleep - Edwyn Collins
Standout: “Losing Sleep” & “I Still Believe in You”

You may have wondered what happened to Edwyn Collins and his throwback style voiced baritone after his breakthrough on the Empire Records soundtrack, “A Girl Like You.” Well the answer is a lot. If you haven’t heard the story, it is a true come back in every essence of the word. Collins suffered dual brain hemorrhages, leaving him unable to speak mid decade. While the voice isn’t fully recovered, the songs are full of heartfelt perseverance.

7. Reveal Hidden Worlds - Liam The Younger (download album in full for free)

Standouts: “Lie” “Turn,” & “Crossed Water”

Lo-fi but soulful with a standard monotone-esque indie rock delivery. Just feels like something different on it. “Lie” is like a droll yet beautiful recreation of "Earth Angel" for the modern audience. Reveal Hidden Worlds is full of slacker lullabies will make you feel like having a sorrowful dance at some dimly lit, banal Elks Lounge turn. "Candle" beautifully explodes with musical pent up angst, giving the album some of the many reminiscent touches of early Bright Eyes.

9. One Life Stand - Hot Chip

Standouts: “Thieves in the Night” & "Brothers"

British dances kings return with another stellar effort. Not much else to say.

9. Go - Jonsi
Standouts: “Go Do” & "Animal Arithmetic"

One of the faces of Sigur Ros makes an album full of exuberance that even features some songs in English for those Anglo-snobs that were waiting for lyrics they could understand. A outlet of celebration that was partially revealed on Sigur Ros last album but fills every second here.

10. Forget - Twin Shadow

Standout: “Tyrant Destroyed” & "At My Heels"

Sorrowful, dreary, yet hypnotizing throwback sounds to the synth-laden heyday of the The Cure.

11. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy - Kanye West

Standout: “All of The Lights” & "So Appalled"

Rap’s not my thing but Kanye, ya got me on this one (and not just because of Bon Iver but it didn’t hurt). Is he really an abomination to Obama's nation?

12 & 13. This is Happening - LCD Soundsystem & Forgiveness Rock Record - Broken Social Scene

Two mainstays for the better part of a decade. James Murphy and his crew return with probably the weakest effort to date but their self-titled and Sound of Silver are tough acts to eclipse. Still, there is plenty of excellence here on tracks such as "Sombody's Calling Me" & the anthemic "Drunk Girls."

Speaking of anthemic, that is the calling card of Broken Social Scene and their most popular works but Forgiveness failed to tickle the critical fancies of many but I thought it was an excellent effort from a band who has the same high expectations as LCD as their efforts. Take a listen to tracks like "Texico Bitches" & "Meet Me in the Basement" and try to remain unroused!

14. Saint Bartlett - Damien Jurado

Standout: “Cloudy Shoes” & “Racehl & Cali”

Opening track “Cloudy Shoes” is one of the three best tracks of the year and seems to be the perfect use of Jurado’s voice and musical talents. The megaphone filtered repetitions throughout are beautifully composed and ingenious, like a voice starting in one's head and then finally coming out filtered through their mouth.

15. The Age of Adz - Sufjan Stevens

Standouts: “Futile Devices” & “The Age of Adz”

The ambitious but often doubted 50 state project is gone but Sufjan still impresses nonetheless. The minimalist days of the delicately beautifully Seven Swans are gone but arising from the dust are some epic songs with four songs clocking in over six minutes including the 25 finale “Impossible Soul.”

16. Expo 86 - Wolf Parade

Standouts: “What Did My Lover Say? (It Always Had to Go This Way)” & “Cloud Shadow on the Mountain”

See LCD & Broken Social Scene above.

17 & 18. Tron OST (Daft Punk) & Inception OST (Hans Zimmer)

Different yet both amazingly effective in creating a stark, landscape for the mind to envision the images they are supposed to supplement.

19. Port Entropy - Shugo Tokumaru
Standouts: “Malerina,” “Tracking Elevator,” & “Lahaha”

Cornelius light but lovely nonetheless. Sounds kind of like Japanese version of Hawaiian music, perfect for a luau.

20. Halycon Digest - Deerhunter
Standout: “Helicopter” & “Don’t Cry”

Mr. Cox continues to deliver the goods over and over again.

Honorable mentions:

Odd Blood - Yeasayer: First half merits inclusion while the second half is baffling horror-show besides the opening track which sounds like robot vomit.

There is Love in You - Four Tet

IRM - Charlotte Gainsbourg

Real Life is No Cool -Lindstrom & Christabelle

I Learned The Hard Way - Sharon Jones and The Dap-Kings

Sky at Night - I Am Kloot

Subiza - Delorean

Big Echo - Morning Benders

The Chaos - The Futureheads: “The Connector” has a punkish hyperspeed Queen-esque feel to its chorus that could be the most addictive of 2010.

Strange Weather, Isn't It? - !!!

The Morning After - James

Root for Ruin - Les Savy Fav

False Priest - Of Montreal

Pete Yorn - Pete Yorn

Catching a Tiger - Lissie: I can thank the teaser for the upcoming season of Justified on FX for my addiction to her amazing track “Little Lovin.”

I Read Something.. A Post-Thanksgiving Reading Feast Post (A Bit NSFW - Thanks Kanye)

2010-11-29T22:45:00.002-05:00

Truly, Madly, Depply, Ugly & Disturbing! Thank, Kanye.

I've been hard at work on a top 20 list of albums for a while but it's taken much longer than expected as I've decided to give a few albums a bunch of repeat listens as well as some new contenders from the late 2010 releases (Kanye West [pictured above], Tron Soundtrack) so I'll hopefully get this up sometime later this week.

Also, my attempt at catching up on missed issues of the New Yorker has led me to lose track of time and space. Once you skip one they seem to just pile up there, the animated covers begging for you to delve into the fifteen page articles on trips to China be read so you consider yourself an intelligent, informed Northeastern Intellectual. That along with sweet potatoes, vegetarian tacos and fulfilling the uber-hipster mission of completing Gary Shteyngart's excellent, satiric vision into the sadly not too far distant future Super Sad True Love Story.

Quick notes on some of the sad recent losses to the world. The white haired king of parodies Leslie Nielsen of Airplane! & Naked Gun infamy has passed on at the age of 84. In the not as severe but still sad category (in comparison to a sad death), the once over-hyped and now overlooked Wolf Parade is going on "an indefinite hiatus."

And here's some more worth reading:

Fiji Water loses its water source, 4000 villagers out of jobs. (Atlantic Wire)

Also from Atlantic Wire, the Twitterverse was all atwitter with arrival of one the single most intriguing sports personalities to "reab" his image, as well as another arrival of a the ultimate Buxom Baywatch Blonde coming to Israel and telling Jews to stop wearing fur hats.

Despite the impending big release of Tron: Legacy, did you know that you can't get Tron on DVD? Is it a conspiracy? Spout has some thoughts.

Faster, the heavily-advertised return of The Rock to brawny action, flopped this weekend, failing to finish in the top five in the Harry Potter weekend. The studio probably saw it as counter programming but forgot that when families all have off they rarely take their eight-year-olds to see revenge movies where the trailer reveals approximately five of the not too long list of people he is going to punish. Besides the fact that the trailer seemed to have sold the few viewers who did go a bad bill of goods. PopMatters has an interesting article about it,"Selling the Wrong Movie" Faster vs. Faster."

If this bombed, I can only imagine whatever studio head approved Nic Cage's impending masterpiece Drive Angry are thinking. They should probably be looking for a new job.

During the speedy deterioration of interest developing in my mind during the most recent, lackluster episode of The Walking Dead, all I could think of of was turning on the Netflix and starting Damages: Season 2. I don't know why I skipped this series (actually I do, not a big Glenn Close fan) but after watching a lot of Bored to Death lately I remembered the rave reviews Ted Danson got for his work on Damages.

Season one was completely enthralling. Much like the overlooked, amazing first season of Murder One. They used the continual flashbacks to amazing, enthralling effect. I couldn't get enough and watched all thirteen episodes in the span of an evening (a long evening as you might imagine).

Then, I started season two and up pops Mr. Timothy Olyphant, who I've never liked much in movies but love anything he is involved with on TV like Deadwood even his appearances on The Office. But Justified might be just the perfect role for him.

Hey Tim, Can you send me $10 bucks for Hitman?

If you missed the first season, I suggest you go right now and get yourself an early holiday gift so you can blow through it and catch up in time for the second season to start on FX in January. My holiday gift to you. You can thank me later.

Ahh... that's more like it.

If you don't know what to get the family techie, check out the Wired Top 100 Gifts for Geeks. Some of the items are pipe dreams an BS but other are quite excellent. Got a few ideas myself from there. Now back to Cyber Monday shopping..

Things Worth Reading - Another Classic Film Bites the Dust. College has Cheaters? The History of Board Games and more... 11/16/2010

2010-11-16T21:12:00.002-05:00

You knew it would happen one day but Robert Zemeckis (best known as the director of Back to the Future & Forest Gump and most recently for all those motion capture holiday films that I have no desire to see like A Christmas Carol, The Polar Express, and that shit-storm known as Beowulf) has decided that it is time to remake The Wizard of Oz. This time it won't be starring Michael Jackson. (Deadline)

It's college application crunch time right now so it's a perfect time for a pseudonym-filled expose about how people cheat their way through college. Mental_floss has a sad but hilarious article about the prevalence of ghostwritten essays for students in all levels of academia,focusing most of the article on snippets of e-mails from a student that he was writing a 75-page paper on business ethics for.

Ever wonder how a Pulitzer Prize Winner quits a job? Do that do it with verbal style and panache? Lifehacker has the answer, dissecting the letter section by section with witty commentary.

Learn how San Francisco banned the happiest of meals. (Gizmodo)

Reports say Lindsey Lohan wants to open a rehab facility, probably so she can stop paying others for something that doesn't seem to be working for her. The report states that the 24-year -old has been in rehab five times which translating Hollywood speak probably means 7 times.

Keith Law, ESPN's baseball guru, as written an engaging, in-depth article on the history of board games. It shouldn't shock you a stat nerd has spent much of his life delving into board games with his friends in lonely dark rooms but at least it has finally paid off.

It seems that the love for pomegranates came out of nowhere about five years ago. Now the same people who brought the "magic fruit" to light with the POM drinks has also created the Wonderful branding label for pistachios. Meet the Resnicks in this highly informative profile by Susan Berfield in Businessweek of how all the pomegranate love has come about stateside.

It seems announcement worthy to those who don't know how to use their computer music players in a basic fashion, but now you can buy Beatles songs on iTunes for the first time. Boy, they just can't stop making money, Apple and the Beatles. Who is going to buy these albums again??

This one is a bit delayed but still worth it. Watch Pee Wee Herman give Regis his tour around Broadway. (Vulture)

The End of the Bumbling Joe Morgan & Jon Miller Era

2010-11-10T05:09:00.001-05:00

Image via the now-defunct Awful Announcing (with my own artistic touches).

Yahoo Sports Big League Stew might have said it best, "Celebrate, lovers of broadcasts free of ego-driven inanity, celebrate!"

Jon Miiller and Joe Buck (Freudian Slip?), I mean Morgan are no more. As reported by just about every major sports outlet, the faces of Sunday Night Baseball on ESPN for the last 21 years are no more. There is no word on their replacement but that probably depends on who's around after the upcoming baseball hiring season. Openings since after the World Series including a bunch of teams including the Mets, the Pirates,

Sorry, I don't remember the beginning of the Morgan/Miller era but I will never forget despising their awful play by play ramblings. Miller's old school booming announcer's voice rubs me the wrong way. Morgan's old time leanings and gushing of praise on the select players that he was in love with (Barry Bonds comes to mind) wore out it's welcome every Sunday night.

My least favorite moment every week of the baseball season was when Jon Miller's wrinkly bald face would arrive on the screen and then he would "introduce" his Hall of Fame colleague Joe Morgan. Inane and uninformative banter would ensue for a short while as Morgan spoon-fed information about the game to come as if someone had chosen, on this lovely summer evening, to make their first foray into watching baseball.

Morgan might have been a great player (I am not old enough to have seen his heyday) and have a great understanding of baseball but he had no understanding of what most people wanted to hear. He wanted to harp on the way the game used to be as if he played a century ago, and not a few decades prior. (Although I do give him credit for pointing out modern ballplayers bonehead plays and lack of fundamentals more than most but in the most slackjawed, repetitive and obvious ways imaginable.)

Comfortability and contracts appear to be the lone reasons that bad announcing teams stay in tact. Someone must connect to these boring analysts spewing about the days of yore and mispronouncing names, missing full plays, and just generally fucking up on a moment by moment basis.

In this modern world where things change at lightning speed, these guys should have been jettisoned years ago. No matter who they put in their place, the watching public will be informed and enjoy the game exponentially as long as they don't continually plus their twitter and Facebook pages, one thing I can credit these broadcasting stalwarts from not doing.

Even if they had claimed on air that Joe Morgan had a Twitter account, you know it wasn't him doing it but rather it was whoever would handle "the social media" aspects of the program. But baseball is a beautiful game that can be watched silently, without the constant flashing animations introducing questions of the week (I'm talking to you AFLAC duck) or the minute by minute dissection of inconsequential minutiae, which was one of Morgan's specialties (as well as his Fox equivalent Tim McCarver).

The comparisons to excellence in baseball related reporting comes into further view when I proceeded to watch The Tenth Inning Part I, the recent addition to Ken Burns authoritative, engrossing, and almost encyclopedic (in a limited TV sort of way) retelling of the history of baseball. Humorously enough, the most tainted event in the episode, the McGwire record-tying 61st and breaking 62nd home run calls were made by Jon Miller and Joe Buck respectively. As a bookend for that segment, analysis by the best baseball broadcaster alive, the uppity but amazingly observant Bob Costas made for a unique comparative juxtaposition. A man who makes pointed commentary with a highly-informed base of knowledge while not spoon

Then George Will made a comment regarding the post-1994 MLB strike era that made me laugh aloud at its astuteness, "Baseball went through a period of get two runners on base, get Godzilla to the plate, have him hit it into Tokyo bay." It was more the way he said it, in an Ivy League manner that made me chuckle but it is so true (and it is still true for the Yankees).

One last thing ESPN. Don't fuck this up! You've made the right move but if I hear Eduardo Perez, I'm turning the game off.

More baseball articles worth reading:

Here's an article I don't have to read - Source: Yanks will overpay Derek Jeter. Top flight reporting form Mr. Wallace Matthews on ESPN New York although I did enjoy the opening line "Derek Jeter is going to be paid Ryan Howard money for putting up Marco Scutaro numbers."

Shin-Soo Choo's Future - Choo has big pressure on him. He has not received a waiver for mandatory South Korean military service and would likely only receive it if his team wins the Asian Baseball Championships. Good luck Shin-Soo, it would be sad for the Indians to lose their lone talented player. Cleveland deserves a little bit of happiness.

The Renaissance of "Weekend at Bernie's", The Rise & Fall of Pickleball and more...

2010-10-19T20:46:00.001-04:00

Weekend At Bernie's has always ready for a renaissance. The late 80's comedy meant to spring Brat-Packers into adult comedy stars in an outlandish comedy. The film, based on one of the more ridiculous premises ever, has lived perpetually in the TV movie cycle as long as I can remember, and it even spawned a more ludicrous sequel.

Is Weekend at Bernie's II the only movie since the silent era that some got their name in big letters on a poster without speaking a word, and leaving most of your characters work to an actual dummy? G-d bless, Terry Kiser. It's great work if you can get it. Just because he plays a dead man doesn't mean he can't cash residual checks.

I wonder if Kiser is collecting cash from the latest rap dance craze that his character has inspired. The dance is the "Berney Dance" for a song fittingly entitled "Movin Like Berney." They misspell Bernie's name in the song title. Is that on purpose? Did they forget to double check the spelling on Google like I always do? I don't think so but if you'd like to see how you can move like Bernie or should I say Berney (or Michael Jackson in "Thriller")...

Looks like a club hit in the making if I don't say so myself. You can even submit your own video for the "Berney Dance Contest," sounds like a productive way to spend an afternoon. Bernie truly will never really die.

---

One of my new favorite sites is The Atlantic Wire. It is a highly informative site where the writers and editors compile various points of opinion on different topics. Their latest ingenious Friday feature is called "Things The Wall Street Journal Hates This Week," which is pretty self explanatory. This week's edition includes The EU, Tom Brady's hair, The Federal Reserve & something called 'pickleball.'

For those of us who do not reside on retirement community, where pickleball courts seem to be in ridiculously high demand, here's a 12 minute video that explains it all.

According to the article,

Del Webb, the country's largest builder of active-adult communities, had pickleball courts in fewer than one in five of its developments in 2006. Now, says Jacque Petroulakis, spokeswoman for parent company PulteGroup Inc., the figure is above 50%, and Del Webb incorporates pickleball into almost everything it builds.

This is your standard pickleball (from LafayettePickleball.net)

Pickleball, what a name! Just saying it makes me smirk. For those who don't wish to sit through the full 12 minute video, it seems to be tennis for the slow, the overweight, and especially those of advanced age and advanced arthritis.

Shockingly, some community members have a pickle to pick with this up-and-coming sport of seniors. Who would think that an old man might complain about it?

Ron Heymann, 65, whose home is about 100 feet from the existing courts, says he won't be sorry to see pickleball go. The noise from games—that of a "hard plastic ball thunk-thunking repetitively on a hard wooden paddle"—is "akin to a toothache that won't go away."
Pickleball players in Mission Royale dispute such claims—for the most part. "There is a constant 'ping, ping,'" concedes John Grasso, 61, president of the local pickleball club. In March, Mr. Grasso says the club purchased a decibel meter from RadioShack. The findings: Tennis reached about 58 decibels while pickleball hit about 60. "There really was no difference. It's just a different sound."
The difference was enough to evict the sport from its home in SaddleBrooke. Residents there, in 2008, first asked pickleball players to switch to a rubber ball to cut back on noise. Pickleball players passed.
"Ask golfers to use a different kind of ball, and see what they say," says John Benter, 69, local pickleball president.
A $4,500 noise study found that sounds from pickleball play were spiking above the county's 60-decibel limit, which applies to ongoing noise. As a result, the homeowners' association banned use of standard pickleball paddles and balls on the courts, effectively shutting down play.

Will people stand for these anti-pickleball activities? Only time will tell.

And now for a few quick ones...

Lifehacker reports (based on a NYTimes article) reports "that willpower is like a muscle capable of fatigue: you can't keep any muscle flexed forever."

McDonald's insists that Happy Meals CAN grow mold.

Gizmodo informs you about the man who drives his girlfriend off the road for taking his PlayStation away and explains why people look different in photos than they do in the mirror.

Zach Galifianakis diagnoses Celebrity's insane actions. (Esquire)

Heavy Drinkers Outlive Nondrinkers. (Time)

And most importantly, Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects, The Way of the Gun) is writing a sequel to Top Gun. I assure you that I have been reading something.

"What is a free agent Derek Jeter Worth?" - I Read Something... Sport Notes - 10/12/10

2010-10-12T23:36:00.001-04:00

I kind of wish I wrote something on 10/10/10. It just seems like a historic date that slipped past without much of a mention; maybe it's because it was a Sunday and everybody knows that real reporters take Sunday off.

The following is an editorial that has been brewing inside for quite a while. For those who know me, they know I am a very well-versed sports fan with high levels of knowledge in most of the major sports outside hockey and NASCAR (if you consider those major sports) but it is my acknowledged animosity towards everything Yankee related that leads to most of my sports related arguments. In most topical discussions, I am a rational and even-keeled young man who bases opinions on facts, figures, projections, analysis. But with the Yankees, all that comes out is detestation and contempt.

Living in the New York area, people often ask me the source of the rage, right after accusing me of being jealous. My general inclination to be contrarian has led me to stick to being possibly the biggest Padres fan in New Jersey, along with my childhood love for Tony Gwynn and California in general. (My best thoughts and wishes go out to the Gwynn family with Tony's recent cancer diagnosis).

Yankees fans in their mid 20s do not remember the very dry periods, from 1965 to 1975 as well as 1982 to 1994 they didn't make the playoffs. They only know what its like to win. They expect to win and collect their World Series Championship hats. Most claim to be big Yankee fans, but don't know half the players on the team. They enjoy wearing that devilish symbol and count on yearly parades. They whip out phrases like "the Yankee way" and winning mentalities. The newest one is the use of the "core" regarding the four central members of the latest dynastic period. Don't even get me started on "the core."

It is not jealousy. It is innate sense of fairness. Soccer may be "the beautiful game" but baseball is America's beautiful game. Football is not beautiful, it's brutal and it is that brutality that people pay to see, cheering right after cringe-inducing tackles where one or both of the people involved could be paralyzed within seconds or slowly leading to the demise of their later lives. Listening to the cracks and crunches of helmets and pads every single play is part of not the charm, but the fascination.

Baseball is a pretty boy's game, despite all the tobacco juice spat and smeared eye black. Gracefulness fills the games. Seeing a great pitcher conquer a lineup of hitters is the most impressive thing in sports. The second most impressive is seeing a man like Vladimir Guerrero who can basically swing at any pitch and hit it with all of his might. The free-swinger is a man lost in the current era of OBP and OPS and BABIP. Albert Pujols strikes fear into opponents when he gets up to the plate but he will take those boring, old walks. Men like Vlad and Ichiro Suzuki are up there to swing. They don't spend four pitches up at the plate unless they've fouled a couple off.

Moments of majesty fill the sport. Wicked pitches seeming to defy gravity and physics. Clemente throwing a frozen rope from the right field corner to peg a man at third base. The sight of a majestic fly ball flying out of the stadium, not just the field. Immense displays of timing and power. For those following more closely this year, it has been the year of the pitcher with a decade's worth of perfect games in a one season, not to mention plenty of no-hitters.

Yet, this is not what I sat down to write about today. The impetus was the biggest target of my rage, the Yankee Golden Boy with the "patented" hop throw and his crowding the plate stance. Do I even have to type his name? Just thinking of his name gives me the chills. Derek Jeter. The biggest arguments I've had in sports have been regarding this man's overall value. My primary argument, in a nut shell, has been that he is the most overpaid athlete in sports (leaving out jokes like garbage basketball contracts given out by Isiah Thomas or very dumb GM's, of which there are plenty).

The basic tenet of the argument is that for a man that has averaged $18.9 million per year over the life of his previous contract should be providing more than he has. It's amazing how quickly Yankee fans forget that they went the better part of a decade without winning a World Series. If you don't remember, here's a list.

Between the years of 2001 and 2008, the Yankees were in the World Series twice and lose both times despite having the highest paid players and the highest salary by far in each and every one of those years. Even the year of the excruciating Aaron Boone HR against the Red Sox in the ALCS, the Yankees lost to the Marlins in six games. It seems to get lost in the shuffle that this great dynasty continually fell short of expectations. Where are all those all important intangibles for those eight years?

Then in 2009, the Yankees broke the bank in a ridiculous way to sign the top two free agents - top pitcher, CC Sabathia and position player, Mark Texieira. They deserve praise for getting over the hump and winning the World Series? Fuck that! It's like when Chris Rock's joke about a father who says he "takes care of his kids." The response, "You're supposed to you dumb mother fucker." What credit is earned for overcoming a hump by continually bringing in the best free agents and having the ability to eat the money on any mistake you make(See: Kei Igawa, Kevin Brown, et al, as well as the 2010 postseason, where a $75 million dollar pitcher is relegated to the bullpen.)

In Jeter's career value in WAR (Wins Above Replacement), Jeter ranks number 82nd right behind Tom Glavine, Jim Thome and right above Don Drysdale and Lou Whitaker. That puts him in hall of fame company, but this level of adulation that a Yankee fan must give off when speaking of "The Captain" or "El Capitano" is out-of-sync with historical reality. Just because he's right in front of you, playing every day and you see him with your own eyes doesn't necessarily make him the best player ever. Not even close.

Only one shortstop in the history of the game ever signed a more lucrative contract as a shortstop and he now plays third base for the Yankees. If Derek Jeter is such a leader and such a praiseworthy captain, shouldn't he have stepped aside when A-Rod came in. But that would be unthinkable! He's the captain, the prince of New York, the infallible leader in pinstripes.

At both of their peaks, A-Rod was widely regarded as a better shortstop. Derek Jeter did not win the Gold Glove until 2004. Do you know who won it the two years prior to that? Alex Rodriguez. Wouldn't a true leader do what is best for the team? He didn't do it when A-Rod came in and now he has a chance to redeem himself.

The issue with changing positions now is that the Yankees have signed high-priced, long term contracts at just about every starting position, unless he can set up in the eighth inning for Mariano Rivera. Some say he could move to center-field, where they just traded for Curtis Granderson and have Brett Gardner, their new Johnny Damon, waiting in the wings as well. Second base would be logical, but that's MVP candidate Robinson Cano's realm. First base was mentioned in previous years as an option but Mark Teixiera is in the second year of an eight year contract worth $180 million. The only spot would be permanent designated hitter, but not many designated hitters average less than 12 home runs per year for the last five years. This position is slowly being taken over by another member of "the core," Jorge Posada.

At the end of this season, Jeter will be a free agent. According to a recent Sports Illustrated article by Joe Posnanski entitled "The Old Man And The Fee" (good pun):

"... Jeter —like Richard Gere in An Officer and a Gentleman— has nowhere else to go. Sure, he could try to negotiate with other teams, but there likely aren't riches waiting for him outside of the Bronx. One baseball insider says that on the open market a generic 36-turning-37 middle infielder with Jeter's offensive skill set might demand something like a three-year, $18 million deal. Jeter has been making at least $20 million in each of the last four years. Jeter is a proud player, and he undoubtedly believes that he has another renaissance left in him. But the only team likely to bet big on a Jeter renaissance is ... the Yankees. They know it. And he knows it."

3 years, $18 million huh? That is probably generous on the years side for any other organization. No other team would sign a 37 year old short stop for more than a season or two at max. Listening to local sports talk radio shows, hosts and fans continually state that the team should "pay him whatever he wants, he's Jeter." Why doesn't the captain take his fair market value if he is such a man of valor, understanding, leadership, and greatness?

One interesting idea raised on Mike Francesa's radio show on October 11 was to make Jeter a player/manager. If he is such a great leader, let's see what he can do! At least, his over-sized contract would be tested with a huge task. Maybe the golden boy would finally feel the heat because as a player, he is rarely criticized. What happens when he makes a bad pitching decision? Will fans boo him or ride him like they have the Joes, Torre and Girardi? If they defer the criticism from Super Jeter, where will they point it? The Yankee manager is a favorite target, but you rarely hear about Jeter being too slow to get to the ground ball up the middle or in the hole costing the team runs. Could they criticize him as a manager for keeping himself at shortstop as he misses more and more groundballs that should be fielded?

I'll admit it. Derek Jeter will be in the Hall of Fame and deserves to be there. He has had a great career for a shortstop but his insistence on playing short and the perceived infallibility surrounding him as a player is misplaced. He may be a gamer, a Iron Man of sorts (not on the level of Gehrig or Cal Ripken) but is he just Brett Favre in pinstripes? He has more rings for sure but is he hurting the team just as much as he helps with his slumps getting longer, his numbers falling, and his range shrinking? If Jeter had been the starting shortstop for the Reds, the Royals, the Mariners, the Tigers or any other team all these years, would the same results have followed? Is there any other organization or era that he would still be playing shortstop? These are hypothetical questions worth considering before his enshrinement.

The praise heaped upon Jeter for his championship pedigree and production are just as likely due to his location (New York City) and the means of the team he plays for. When questions such as "will Jeter get the highest first ballot vote in Hall of Fame history at short stop" get passed around, these are the facts that should be considered. When people ask if he is the greatest Yankee of all time, or even in top 3 position players, the answer is no. Just because he is playing now doesn't help him eclipse the greats of Ruth, DiMaggio, Gehrig, or Mantle. WSJ has Jeter as number four ahead of the Mick.

At this point, it is blind admiration and reminiscing that leads to the continued Jeter fervor and defense of his current play and skill level. In the end, the most important part of the Yankee core in the last 15 years is Mariano Rivera without question despite his latest ridiculous Taco Bell commercial. I have no doubt he could finish that XXL Chalupa despite his great shape.

Jeter's postseason prowess AKA "his clutchness" is probably his most lauded quality before where was the clutchness between 2001 and 2008? A career .312 batting average with an .856 OPS (on-base percentage plus slugging) in the playoffs is excellent. His playoff records include most hits (179), most runs (99), most total bases (272), and most plate appearances (651). (Click over to Baseball-Reference For a complete list of individual career playoff records).

No one has had more chances than Jeter to excel or fail. His numbers also benefit like many of his contemporaries such as Andy Petitte from inflation (Petitte has the most wins in postseason history). More opening series against teams they own like the Twins. When he does have a tough series they often lose.

Second to him in many of these categories is his long time teammate and Latin Grammy nominee Bernie Williams, yet no one espouses that Williams is a Hall of Famer or the greatest Yankee. More chances means heightened possibility of accruing statistical records. He batted .148 against the Diamondbacks in the 2001 World Series and .200 against the Red Sox in 2004 and .176 against the Indians in the 2007 ALDS but those are aberrations.

The fact that the Yankees have never had a member of the 3000 hit club will play heavily into the negotiations. At 2,926 hits, Jeter is only a few months away from entering that pantheon; a boon for a variety of celebrations and merchandising opportunities, especially with his perceived stature and fandom. He is also one of the few "great" players to not change teams, although most that do leave a team it is for money. Since he's on the Yankees, there's nowhere he would ever be paid more. The Yankees will want to see him play out his career as a Yankee and become a highly paid ambassador for the team and the game like Yogi Berra and Reggie Jackson are now. They want him to come out on Old Timer's Day forever with that trademark smile and forever garner the greatest cheer.

So, it's interesting to see how rational the two sides of the negotiation will be after the season ends. Will there be token visits to other teams? A trip to Pittsburgh or Kansas City, a true reclamation project where he can prove how his intangibles can lead to championships. I can only imagine seeing Jeter make an investigative visit to the Red Sox. Oh, what a day it would be and what an image to have on the front cover of the Post. Would he even make it out of Boston alive or New York for that matter? But that's only a dream.

As an organization, the Yankees state they offer no incentives for Awards, All-Star appearances, or Championships because they expect their players to achieve those recognitions. They already pay their players astronomical salaries. Will Jeter expect a bump if the Yankees come off back to back championships? Will there even be negotiations? Will Cashman just hand over a blank check for Jeter to fill in or will he stick to his guns and make a fact-based decision on Jeter's actual worth like he did for Johnny Damon? I doubt it but we'll see in the off-season. Maybe Cashman will offer him three years and $18 million.

This will most likely be Jeter's last contract, his last grab for player's money in the twilight of an excellent career. But the question is for most great players at this age, should he hang up the cleats? For Jeter and Yankee fans, the question is how many more years it will be and what will a 40 year old Jeter look like in 2014?

Related Links:

Derek Jeter on Baseball Reference

I Read Something... Music Oct 6, 2010

2010-10-05T17:48:00.001-04:00

Image via NYMag

According to Esquire, Ali G/Borat et al comedic genius Sasha Baron Cohen is en route to an Oscar for his next musically inspired role which in one of the best casting decisions on the face it in a long time, especially for a larger than life persona:

Yes, it's already Oscar season, with the Toronto Film Festival come and gone and the Hollywood press talking to itself for six months of agonizing, half-interesting uncertainty. But suddenly, out of the dark unknown of Oscarmania comes a distant beacon of certitude: Sacha Baron Cohen will get his Academy Award. Read more...

The upcoming Tron sequel soundtrack is in good hands. (Paste)

How Pavement Became the Greatest Band of the Nineties This Year. (NY Mag)

Haven't listened myself but if you are so inclined to the standard quality of Sujan Stevens' musical output, take a free listen over thanks to NPR Music.

Every Year is the Year of the Coen Brothers & The Michael Stuhlbarg Effect

2010-10-05T17:30:00.001-04:00

It must be tough to be a filmmaker in this era, especially if you are trying to see where you stand in comparison to the best filmmakers of your generation. The Coen Brothers, especially in recent years, seem to be living on their own planet of existence. They have always had their stable of backers who allow them to make their films, their own way, on a 12 month cycle, where every single year a new piece of excellence has been released into the world, critically noticed and make a small profit leaving just another document of their film-making prowess.

How many careers can they revive or sustain? See Jeff Bridges (what do you remember before The Big Lebowski, the Fabulous Baker Brothers), Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare, John Turturro, as well as the recent renaissance of Josh Brolin in No Country For Old Men plus an assortment of off the screen collaborators such as cinematographer Roger Deakins, musician Carter Burwell and many more. Their comfortable with their people bringing a few new ones in per film to learn their magical way. Wikipedia has a laundry list of frequent Coen Brothers collaborators.

Most recently, they brought Michael Stuhlbarg into the the super-Jewishy, upscale nebbishy version of David Paymer/middle-aged Joaquin Phoenix look-a-like into the world into the mainstream with A Serious Man. Stuhlbarg has now popped up in a prime role, opposite the starring role for Steve Buscemi in the new HBO phenomenon of Boardwalk Empire. (Maybe they should rename the show Coen Empire?) While you can't hide Buscemi's recognizable face, it took me two episodes to recognize Stuhlbarg as gangster Arnold Rothstein. I think it was the missing glasses and the tenacity of his new role. It is the exact opposite of his portrayal of Larry Gopnik in A Serious Man, a movie about a man being walked over by just about everyone as his life spirals downward into the abyss. A forgotten Oscar nominee for Best Picture last year but a brilliant film nonetheless.

One might say that the Coen Brothers at their worst when trying to emulate the classics in their mind, rather than putting it through their own grinder and producing something original. Many skip over their reinterpretation of The Ladykillers when listing off their favorites. Trailers have started to trickle out for their new film in the last few weeks, a remake of the classic western True Grit, but the first full glimpse of their vision has appeared on Yahoo! Movies.

What is everyone else in the world film-making to do? How can they measure up to their production schedules and standard of excellence? No stinkers. Intolerable Cruelty was one film I point at when trying to find a small flaw in their history but even then it's still quite funny. It is the one film that they made they didn't write. They didn't have full control and they were trying to create a money maker of a romantic comedy to pay for some of their other visions to be paid for. Maybe it's all because of there are two of them. Is that unfair? Power Tool said it best on their hit track from the Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure soundtrack, "Two Heads Are Better Than One."

I Read Something... Film Edition - Week of Sept 23, 2010 Edition

2010-09-23T02:16:00.001-04:00

Ever wonder what is underneath the ultimate android law enforcer? Gizmodo has an an Anatomical Explanation of Robocop?

It's a big week for some of long unappreciated actors. Steve Buscemi finally has a mainstream starring role, in the new HBO series Boardwalk Empire and after one episode, it's already been renewed. What took so long?

The other one is Guy Pearce, who many thought would be the one catapulted from his starring role in L.A. Confidential, as straight as an arrow Edmund Exley. It turned out to be a coming out party for a different unknown Aussie actor named Russell Crowe. Pearce was on the brink of being a star after the sometimes forgotten mindfuck of brilliance from Chirstopher Nolan entitled Memento. Pearce is currently in theaters with the well reviewed Australian production Animal Kingdom and was just announced as joining the cast of an excellent sounding film Mis-Fits.

And for Stieg Larsson enthusiasts waiting for an English translation of the film, production has begun with Daniel Craig as the lead.

In the Christian Bale craziness department, Cinematical has a Top 5 list of Bale's freakiest looks in a film. You probably haven't seen many of these movies but he is quite a chameleon. I have to say The Machinist will always be number one in my heart. This list was spurred on by the recent release of a boring looking film co-starring Marky Mark called The Fighter, in what looks to be possibly the most derivative film in a long time. Something about a boxer looking for just one more chance at a big fight and big payday. No one watches real boxing, why does Hollywood think would they want to watch movies about boxing?

Many early films were boxing films. Boxing had built in action, was confined to a small, easy to film, staged sessions. According to Imdb, there were thirty films of boxing released before 1900, starting with 1891's originally titled Men Boxing, made by the Edison Company. So making a boxing film is reaching back into the origins of film history but also make it a subject that is possibly the most overused dramatic pot line in film in history.

Open Letters to Semi-Famous People #1: M. Night Shyamalan

2010-09-16T19:36:00.001-04:00

Dear Mr. M Night Shyamalan,

I have a question for you. It’s rhetorical. Can you stop?

I don’t know if you need a break or you’re meant for early retirement where you can count the funds rolling in from your one-trick-pony parade that you use to cloud the minds of studio heads into allowing you to make the same movie over and over again (usually with a rotating cast) and expecting the audience to keep coming, keep paying, and continuing to be underwhelmed. Interestingly enough, the public has avoided the film on its own even though the money has continued to pour into different kinds of schlock (the bloodier the better which is a point for later).

It seems you tried to reinvigorate your career by attempting to bring a popular animated Nickelodeon show Avatar (hmmmm… good name) to the big screen in The Last Airbender. A move into the kiddie, tween realm is a smart move especially in the current tween pandering times. Too bad it failed, miserably, and was universally panned. You had your chance to start a series, a Harry Potter or Twilight of your own, (not with the same level of American fanbases including a large amount of adults).

Let’s take a stroll through your career, a M. Night Shyamalan This is Your Life. Many people forget your early work on Wide Awake with Rosie O’Donnell as well as a co-writing Stuart Little, the movie with the talking mouse. You know why you do those kind of things, money and a chance. I can’t blame you. I heard that Garfield 3D is looking for a script doctor, but I can’t see why they’d call you in since all your mind seems to produce is redundant, boring, supposedly haunting PG-13 visions without blood that center on people on the outskirts of society, quirky fokks lioving in the real world through mystical circumstances with the expected twist ending.

The Sixth Sense is stuck in our culture even though no one really watches it anymore and in another 10 years, it will most likely be completely forgotten. Remember Haley Joel Osment? Now just another run down twenty something (drug addict?) who can still collect checks from Forrest Gump weekly showings on Sunday afternoons as Little Gump. (That reminds me that I’m surprised they never made a Gump sequel. I credit Hanks, who I could see blatantly slapping that down till they blew him away with cash to be the lead freaky haired code-breaker in the Dan Brown series.)

I remember the excitement I experienced when meeting you as a teenager. It was at a preview screening of your highly anticipated follow-up to Unbreakable. This was pre-full blown Internet era, when no one recognized you by face except for me and my film-loving friends. You were sitting incognito by the bathroom at the suburban North Jersey movie theater. You were a nice man, encouraging of a young man’s interest in film-making, and generous with your time, even though this was a test screening where you were trying to gather reaction to your film and we were probably the perfect test subjects, although it probably would have been more useful if we didn’t know who you were.

Unbreakable was a strange film. It was quite good actually. The more I think about it, it was your best. Samuel L. Jackson engaging in one of his more unique performances, the comic book overtones were geek-friendly. It should have been a home run. It hit all the right points. It was the start of something or so some though. Who would know that that was pretty much the end of it?

After that, you did your best to make yourself the star of the movie, the headliner. Not many directors receive that top line possessive billing on top of their movies, especially after just a few movies but the studios believed you were the future. They took the modern more of preemptive blowing up of your stature (kind of like Sam Worthington except that he was lucky enough to be in Avatar). Most directors should and do wait a career for that kind of credit. Was it called Martin Scorcese’s Mean Streets? How about Steven Spielberg’s 1941? You tried to become a brand, a modern day Hitchcock, but you probably should have waited until it was merited. The making of your films seem to be often to be shrouded in mystery with oblique trailers that often don’t give the audience anything but your name, the name of the movie, and who is in it. This is actually a good thing.

And let’s get to a big annoyance, this new piece of shit that you didn’t even direct. The one with a bunch of actors stuck in an elevator and getting scared “From the mind of M. Night Shayamalan.” Maybe that gives the studio hope it will make money, but it gives me even less hope that it will be good since you wrote it. I think by now you figured out the problem. Your visual style is pretty good, faux-Hitchcockian, a contrasting subtlety to the standard mainstream overly loud, predictable revelatory explosion fests. You are an auteur in that sense of recognizable style but your hope to be full bred auteur is unlikely to happen because the films that you write are just sub-par. The plots are sometimes appealing, but the characters are gag-worthy and the endings are… well that’s already been discussed.

Viewers gave you another chance with Signs, and made it the most successful film of your career. It had the star power of Mel Gibson and intriguing Joaquin Phoenix. (Interestingly, both of these may be trying to tear/invigorate their careers apart in totally different ways, see Mel Gibson's tantrums and texts along with Joaquin Pheonix's weird new quasi-documentary thing I'm Still Here.) Gibson was quite a casting coup since actually had star power back then. You got a chance that Mel Gibson might never ever get again for various other reasons (including the unbelievably atrocious Edge of Darkness, along with more well-known public mishaps in the realms of Jew-bashing & angry message leaving etc). At least Mr. Night, you have not embarrassed yourself in public. Let’s continue to the inexplicable The Village, the first part of your descent from your Hitchcockian vision of yourself. Follow that up with the awful Lady in the Water, despite the acting talents of Paul Giamatti and that true shit bomb The Happening, that took your credibility with the audience lower than when you started.

Mr. Night, your time has come and gone so why not give the audience what they really aren’t expecting and retire. Disappear. Take a breather. Sit down and dig into that mind, find something worth watching as movies get more and more expensive to produce and to match in theaters. Maybe your time away will make people think about your later and they will be better appreciated (not likely) and then you can swoop back in and people may love you again. Save the hopeful soul, some time, energy, and expense and come back with something good or nothing at all. A triumphant return will be the greatest twist of them all.

I know you won’t but there’s always a chance. Good luck. Tell Philly to fuck off for me as well.

Sincerely,

Joe S.

P.S. If you need some recommendations of people taking the opposite path of yourself, see Coen Brothers, Spike Jonze, and more in line with your experience the lost and found Danny Boyle. Don’t become an American version of Guy Ritchie, be an American Danny Boyle. That would get you an Oscar if you follow that analogy through.

The Etymology of the Piggy Bank + 9 Other Things Worth Reading on Whale Feces, Hitchcock, Wine Vending Machines and more...

2010-08-28T00:29:00.001-04:00

1. Do you know the etymology of the Piggy Bank? I wondered about if it was different then just a reference to the the common shape of the bank and there is a real interesting answer that refers to 2nd Century BC in Greece. Here's part of the pertaining section on Wikipedia:

In Middle English, "pygg" referred to a type of clay used for making various household objects such as jars. People often saved money in kitchen pots and jars made of pygg, called "pygg jars". By the 18th century, the spelling of "pygg" had changed and the term "pygg jar" had evolved to "pig bank." Once the meaning had transferred from the substance to the shape, piggy banks began to be made from other substances, including glass, plaster, and plastic.

An alternative theory, and the one usually given for the origin in German sources, is that in Germany and surrounding countries the pig is a symbol of good luck or good fortune (see Pigs in folklore), hence keeping money in a piggy bank will bring good fortune.

The oldest find of a money box dates from 2nd century B.C. Greek colony Priene, Asia Minor, and features the shape of a little Greek temple with a slit in the pediment. Money boxes of various forms were also excavated in Pompeii and Herculaneum, and appear quite frequently on late ancient provincial sites, particularly in Roman Britain and along the Rhine.

2. Would you buy J.D. Salinger's Toilet on eBay for $1 Million?(Paste)

3. Why Not Rebrand The Post Office? (Fast Company via The Atlantic) - This is a good idea. Make the Post Office possibly cool. It's been needing a change for a long time, maybe it will help morale too. Have you been too a post office counter recently?

4. Wine Vending Machines Test Breath Before Sales (BBC)

5. Is Coconut Water Really Better Than Sports Drinks? (Mother Jones)

6. 13 Hitchcock Films That Were Never Made (mental_floss) - 13 more films that people would say they've watched but haven't.

7. Would you like a guitar that is made to be smashed? Made of recyclable material so that they can still be broken. (Wired)

8. 25 Best (Worst?) Infomercials - Don't worry, Billy Mays is on the list. RIP Billy, we still miss you.

9. Sperm Whale faeces 'help oceans absorb CO2' (BBC) - I knew there was a reason they were so big.

10. Top 50 Music Videos of the '90s (Pitchfork) Includes some classics like "Loser" & Ain't Nothing But a G Thang", four tracks with Dave Grohl (2 Nirvana & 2 Foo Fighters, a personal fav in Busta Rhymes frenetic "Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See" along with missed gems like Wilco skydiving and of course some Aphex Twin.

Arcade Fire - Live @ MSG on 8/5/2010 (Pics, Photo Slideshow, & Thoughts)

2010-08-06T18:24:00.001-04:00

I was hesitant to see the Arcade Fire, not only worrying about a let down from the heights and excellence that they had showcased when I've seen them previously. The main worry is that the energy may dissipate when the venue multiplies in size into a cavernous location in the west 30's. It's easier to block these negative issues out when after a half dozen spins, the album fits neatly in their canon as another piece of excellent work, chock full of anthemic blasts and even a straightforward punkish/Clinic-esque track in "Month of May."

But don't fear, Arcade Fire has exuberance and stage presence/antics to easily fill an arena and more. Renditions of their standards a couple of the Neighborhoods, "Rebellion (Lies)," "Keep The Car Running" were as rousing as ever. After the first track, the band had already blown the doors off the mediocre set from special guests Spoon, who I usually enjoy seeing but watching them do some of their latest tracks along with "Underdog" didn't do much for me. Their highlights were the highlights off the Ga Ga Ga... album with the wailing laced, histrionic filled "Cherry Bomb" & a personal fav in "Don't Make Me a Target" (a song that would make for a very funny Walmart ad).

If you want some proof of the energy Win Butler gave the crowd take a look at this video of him running as far as I've seen a singer get into the crowd during a song, and even doing a good job of singing most of the lyrics from the song.

Usually I'd be able to provide more videos but it's hard not to sing when Arcade Fire are at their best (AKA ruing the video for mass consumption). I did get one good one of one of the best songs off The Suburbs (there might be a bit of extra vocals from the cameraman as well).

The newer material wasn't as fine tuned as the more well-worn tracks, as evidenced by a restart of the mistimed 2nd of a three song encore, the very 80s-ish, new wave "Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)." But at least three or four look to be fixtures for their future touring, the infectious up-tempo "Ready to Start," the jangly eponymous track, along with the previously mentioned excellence of "Rococo" & "Month of May."

Time wise, one might wish for a song or two more but they had given so much already and reached the major highpoints and it wasn't necessary. A small comment on their video display/lighting, it felt very much in theme with the album, unobtrusive, and complimentary. It didn't take over from what was going on the stage and gave the eyes a visual treat here and there, projecting a smudgy time lapse of a highway ramp in the background with the adapted band footage on a small, recreated drive-in theater screen.

Thank you Arcade Fire, you truly surpassed my expectations and made me glad that I made the effort to attend. The new album is good but I think the BBC might have gone a bit overboard, calling it better than OK Computer (BBC via Brooklyn Vegan). I won't allow this post to descend into the dark depths of anger this statement might usually provoke inside of me. Suffice to say, it is not a true statement and that someone form the BBC may deserve to be shot for the opinion. I know it's just an opinion but... alright I'm stopping now (and I don't condone murder except in the case of .)

Below is a quick slideshow of photos I took (along with a highlight for myself, a photo with David Byrne of the Talking Heads):

A Couple of Good Thoughts From the NY Mags This Week: John McCain, Nick Clegg, Your Freedom & American Indians in the UK

2010-07-14T19:31:00.001-04:00

New York Magazine had an interesting feature on the political future and legacy of the last losing candidate for President, Senator John McCain and what has changed so drastically for this maverick that he fears he might even lose his long held seat in the Senate. Joe Hagan's in-depth "What Would A Maverick Do?" details some of the major changes in McCain's camp since he came to national attention when he was politicking for the presidential nod against President Dubya back in 2000.

This article showcases how his anger and frustration have turned him into a likable independent-ish voice of the people into just another boring Right wing king of negativity and divisiveness.

But here's the part I found most interesting:

Friends of McCain say that in the recesses of his brain is a mortal fear of retirement. Engaging in daily battles is all he’s ever known. “Torture for John McCain is putting him on the burner and not letting him do anything,” says Lindsey Graham.
People who have spent years with McCain say he has always been emotionally remote, virtually alone even while surrounded by staffers. When he calls his own mother, he announces, “Hi, Mother, this is John McCain.”

I mean... who the fuck does that?

If you didn't know, there is a new face in the UK political scene as well named Nick Clegg, who seemed to have taken the country by storm via the system's first televised debates this past election season. It does seem weird that what is often perceived as one of the most important dates in the US political process never occurred on the other side of the pond. As a result of his strong showing, Clegg was made deputy Prime Minster and he has called for a different approach to the choosing of laws.

In an initiative called Your Freedom, Clegg has set up a website for people to submit laws they believe should be repealed or adjusted. According to the Telegraph:

The Deputy Prime Minister asks people to concentrate on three areas:

Laws that have eroded civil liberties.
Regulations that stifle the way charities and businesses work.
Laws that are not required and which are likely to see law-abiding citizens criminalised.
Once the ideas have been logged through the website, users will be able to comment and rate those which they believe should be considered by the Government.
Whitehall departments and ministers will be able to post their responses to suggestions.
Once sifted, assessments will be made on which laws should be repealed. They will then be included in a new Freedom Bill, which will be unveiled in the autumn. In his article, Mr Clegg adds that the Labour government developed “a dangerous reflex” when faced with a problem and just passed more laws.

This seems to either be genius or a catastrophe. Maybe they could go old Greek Democratic style and have everyone vote on everything but it does make an interesting point. It seems that people no longer believe in the system fully. Elected officials once in office don't do what their constituents want so really why do we need them. I wish Obama would carry this over to USA or I guess Biden as Clegg's equivalent in the States. This is a website I would check on at least five times a day. I mean how many stupid laws can you think of off of the top of your head.

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In a brief article in this week's New Yorker's "Whodunnit Dept.", Nick Paumgarten intriguingly connects the BP Oil Spill, an injurious limb in the Central Park Zoo, and Mayor Bloombersg's perspective on the phrase "act of G-d," and a thinker's perspective of free will in relation to science. Not bad for 750 words. Here's my favorite line, somewhat in context:

In “Saving Belief: A Discussion of Essentials,” he [Oxford theologian & philosopher Austin Farrer] wrote, “God not only makes the world, he makes it make itself; or rather, he causes its innumerable constituents to make it.” In other words, it’s a collaborative effort. G-d is Phil Spector, and we are the Ronettes.

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Last weekend in DC, I visited the highly-informational, beautifully designed, and eye-opening Smithsonian National Museum of The American Indian, the newest of the Smithsonians which made this NPR story pique my interest, UK Denies Iroquois Lacrosse Team OK to Travel.

What is the reasoning, you might ask? According to the AP article, "The British government is refusing to allow an American Indian lacrosse team to travel to England using passports issued by the Iroquois Confederacy." As a native tribe, the Iroquois nation have their own sovereignty AKA government and passport system that does not seem to meet UK standards.

New Coke Machine to Blow Minds

2010-06-24T17:27:00.005-04:00

Yea, I know the cool kids all drink water out of their Swiss made European bottles but I still enjoy a high fructose filled carbonated beverage full with artificial flavoring from time to time and I can only imagine what will happen when I stumble upon one of these new Freestyle Coke Machines.

The first time I took notice of the Freestyle was near the end of the CNBC doc Coca-Cola: The Real Story Behind the Real Thing, while these docs are often shills for the companies they are nonetheless very interesting and full of unique access to these mega-behemoth corporations. Near the end they showcased the Freestyle as part of their innovations, much like a car company with their concept cars that never actually materialize since they are too cool looking and too unique for mass consumption so that uniqueness often gets shaved down till the model is the usual recognizable machine with a little hint of the concept.

According to a Fast Company post, the Freestyle machines have had their test runs and will finally be rolled out little by little, although I imagine these things are pretty pricey and will avoid the most "urban areas" even though I think they re-popularized the Arnold Palmer. The freestyle is a machine featuring 104 Coke flavors that can be mixed at the behest of the user.

I don't know about you but I have always enjoyed the look of classic vending machines. They are the sign of the times they come out of and I stumbled upon a little video of the history of Coke machines.

I can see many issues with the new machines like people's inate indecisiveness, slowing down the beverage pumping factory, when faced with this enormous amount of choice and probably defaulting back to just a standard drink. But still, I enjoy the return of the fountain style vending machine. I remember as a kid loving to order a drink out of the vending machine with the ice coming down followed by the brown syrupy goodness of fountain. Bottled is boring and I rarely will get a soda in a bottle but at a restaurant, if I see Mr. Pibb (a rarity up here in the Northeast), a cup will be ordered.

The machine works its magic through inkjet like cartridges of highly concentrated versions of its drinks which are then dispensed depending on the patrons flavor selection. While I was unable to find a full list of the flavors available, there are sure to be some regional varieties and various different things you might have never imagined, one blog mentioned Orange Coke & Raspberry Sprite, neither which sound appetizing to me. I'm thinking of a magical combination of Strawberry Fanta & Sprite. Strawberry soda and Birch beer are my true weaknesses, but I will not be mixing them together.

Although not of the Coke stable yet, my favorite carbonated beverage has been for the last decade Boylan's Creamy Red Birch Beer and I get very upset when people ask the difference between it and regular old Root Beer. Try a Mug Root Beer and then get a bottle of Boylan's Red and if you can't taste the difference, then you're taste buds are missing. For one, Boylan, only uses cane sugar, you can taste the difference like when they put out those retro Pepsis and the formula was created in the turn of the 20^th century in Paterson NJ, only miles away from my home. Paterson is a very interesting place with a very important lost history as well. That's a story for another day.

Back to the Freestyle, I am very intrigued to give this machine a whirl and hope run across one this summer. Most likely, they are going to be at big movie theaters and theme parks as just another attraction along with all the other loud noises and flashing lights but I appreciate the effort Coke is making in at least trying something new, and giving their drinkers the choice of which kind of toxic flavored non-alcoholic beverage mixture to imbibe.

Tim Roth is Amazing, Tim McCarver Sucks

2010-06-14T18:20:00.001-04:00

The Principal cast of Lie To Me

Lie To Me is back on the air as of last week without much ballyhoo outside of the standard Fox over-promotion cross-pollination if you happen to be a viewer of any of their shows (like the recently deceased 24) or when you have to hear Joe Buck read terrible cue cards in the 5th inning of a Saturday afternoon baseball game when you wish him and Tim McCarver would just disappear and find an alternate planet that enjoys the most terrible broadcasting team in sports routinely butchering and overstating every action on the field. Still, they can't ruin my excitement for this shows return and subsequent renewal for another season.

Papelbon & McCarver exchanging each other's books. One is reading a kid's book. Guess who?

Man, I hate McCarver (as an announcer, I don't know him personally) but back to something I truly enjoy, Tim Roth. The enjoyment of seeing him on a weekly basis in new material will likely improve my temperament fivefold.

The premise of the show centers around Roth's Dr. Cal Lightman who runs The Lightman Group, a group of specialized human lie detectors who are hired in specialized cases, usually by baffled law enforcement entities, to interpret microexpressions, body language utilizing a vast assortment of psychological tactics in order to get the truth. Lightman has a knack for taking the cases to the farthest reaches in his penultimate conquest to always achieve the truth.

In the beginning of the show, they recruit a beautiful Latino airport baggage screener named Ria Torres to showcase the battle in the show of the natural versus the learned. Torres is often referred to as Lightman's mentor yet the show seems to showcase her intelligence well but gives her some gaffes that seem a bit obvious and rather boring. Lightman often recruits her in her schemes to take the place of a vixen in setup to try to catch some type of predator.

Michael Rooker in Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer

Interestingly enough, the whole show brings back to mind an excellent mid 90's movie of Roth's called Deceiver, a film that centers itself around lie detection and a polygraph machine. In fact, that was the first thing that came to mind, when the Fox started showing promos for the shows before it premiered. The film opens with some hints of a crime and two detectives (the deceased Chris Penn & criminally underused Michael Rooker) hooking up Roth to a lie detector in a police interrogation room. The film centers on trying to figure out if Roth’s character is the criminal through interrogation and investigation. If you find yourself enjoying Lie to Me, I urge seeking it out.

What makes Roth so great? He's weasely. He's smarmy. He's devilish(ly clever). He's British. Alright then. He is short in stature, but big on intensity. The way his head is cocked to one side or another most of the Lie To Me as if he is always looking at things from a different angle, his own skewed perspective seems like a acting tick that only he could pull off.

Lie To Me reminded me why I fell in love with Tim Roth in the first place. Ever since Quentin Tarantino broke him stateside with juicy roles almost two decades ago, first as Mr. Orange in Reservoir Dogs and again as Mr. Honey Bunny/Ringo in the classic diner scenes of Pulp Fiction, Mr. Roth's place in the realm of quirky, twitchy character actors has been undeniable. Still, it seems that the roles he has chosen or offered have been subpar for the better part of 15 years.

Mekhi Phifer is a welcomed addition for the second season giving the show a previous missing dynamic that they filled with a roving law enforcement liaison form episode to episode. He gives the Lightman Group a face that avoids the trappings of trying to uncover the truth without having the muscles to back up their assertions. He's a glorified bodyguard but another excellent actor that seems to have been overlooked much of the time since his excellent big screen debut in Spike Lee's Clockers (sorry, but I missed his 6+ year era on ER).

The show also has an superb array of guest stars that pop up throughout the show including Garret Dillahunt (The Road, No Country For Old Men, and the most excellent, creepy nemesis Roman Nevikov in one of my favorite shot lived shows Life), Jennifer Beals, Erika Christensen. In one episode entitled "Fold Equity" as well as three of my favorites in an episode about a guy missing from a final table of a big poker tournament Todd Stashwick (Dale in The Riches) who as well as Abby Brammell (The Unit) and the multi-talented Ricky Jay (also in The Unit, along with Boogie Nights, and possibly the best voice-over guy in the world; see the beginning of the best opening sequence possibly in the history of film, Magnolia as well as The Brothers Bloom to hear for yourself). The villains that the writers create on the show are excellent acting showcases, so well written and multifaceted, often the most interesting entity on any individual episode outside of Lightman and his perseverance in cracking his assignment.

Ricky Jay also happens to be an excellent comedy magician:

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The opening section of this first return episode ends with Roth delivering a line to one of a seemingly endless number of previous romantic interludes from his past, "Here's the problem. Martin walker is a psychopath. I think you should know." This flows into the fantastic opening sequence of Lie to Me that is also kind of reminiscent of the face section in Michael Jackson's "Black or White" video, ending with the signature Roth looking right into us and then moving closer as if he is trying his detection techniques on you. It is very effective. Even the Coldplay-ish theme by Ryan Star doesn’t detract from its excellence.

If you are interested in the origins of the show and if there is a real “Cal Lightman”, you might want to take a look at the interesting life of Paul Ekman and his website. Although making him a Brit, makes him infinitely more interesting and confounding to the average American viewer.

Lie to Me may be just the beginning of a Tim Roth renaissance, a performance that proves he can carry a challenging, leading role simultaneously proving to casting agents that people truly enjoy his performances. The show itself never seems to suffer from fatigue in this aspect despite weaknesses some of the side plots/characters, and the seeming insistence of every episode being concluded on someone in the office telling another person that they are lying. Even the insistence on giving little hints into Lightman’s dirty past, that may or may not be revealed, is a bit chincy. Even with all that drama, Lie To Me knows what the people want. End it with a laugh or end with a gasp.

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Technorati Tags: tim roth, lie to me, tim mccarver, ricky jay, mekhi phifer,

Swedish Author To Own the Box Office From The Grave; Bleak Visions From Larsson to Fincher to Haneke

2010-06-10T03:33:00.001-04:00

Stieg Larsson is a worldwide phenomena. Curiously, he has long gone since before the his series of books were even published in his native Sweden. His weird violent world of espionage, filled with masochistic characters skirting the laws of land with idealistic focused views of their world-altering conspiracies through mainstream journalism. This is most often embodied by his two main alter egos in crime fighting, investigative reporter Mikael Blomkvist & petite, revenge happy, calculated, ass kicking hacker extraordinaire Lisbeth Salander.

Ever since reading the first in the series on a trip to Iceland, you could call me hooked. Big time best selling book series are not usually my cup of tea. They are usually full of blandish recognizable characters, obvious plot ploys, and while many would call that beach reading, I call that the absence of desire to be surprised. People like to know what's coming and feel they are just as smart as the character they are vicariously through.

While Larsson's writing is often choppy (possibly due to the translation), somewhat repetitive and often times overwrought with systemic details and thinly veiled tirades against government malfeasance, the tales conquer the mind with continual intrigue, convoluted plots, a large array of characters from all walks of life, conspiracies abound with mysteries that hold your attention and keep you guessing at most turns. In fact, like many others I'm sure, even preordered the latest installment; although I didn't go as far as some and pay to have copies shipped in from England.

Within a week of receiving the 550+ page tome (about average for the series), it had been blitzed through like nothing. It really is the definition of a page turner series (at least until the last 100 or so pages of this volume which is predictable and kinda lame).

The published trilogy was quickly fast-tracked into a completed film series in his native Sweden that are have been completed and released. The first of three quickly came and went in theaters earlier this year in the US, most likely because a 2 plus hour action thriller full of reading subtitles is not for the average viewer even if they love the series of books. They loved the series because they read it in English, if they had to learn Swedish first, it wouldn't have happened. Luckily, that patience is looking like it will pay off in a pretty big way.

The studios looking for the next big film series with a built in captive audience (see Harry Potter, The Da Vinci Code) to give them a tent-pole cash-cow has led to the series being Americanized. The length of the books will probably allow then to chop some of them up and turn the trilogy into maybe a five part series, like they did with Harry Potter and are doing with Twilight (ugh).

Looks to be getting off to a good start from reports, as the creative team as of now includes writer Steve Zallian (Schindler's List, Gangs of New York, and the underrated Searching For Bobby Fischer) under the guidance of director David Fincher (Seven, Fight Club, Zodiac). According to casting rumors, the two leads are under discussion but both at the moment seem to be headed toward good choices. EW along with other sources is reporting Daniel Craig as the frontrunner for Blomqvist with Brad Pitt in the running. Even though Craig is already Bond, his European look fits the part as well as the charm & handsomeness that would justify the sometimes utter-ridiculous irresitability in the eyes of just about every man & woman that crosses his path.

The harder part to cast by far is Salander. The Swedish film version of Salander is played by Noomi Rapace who did an more than admirable job in the task in, at least in the first film. But with the big US budget, a name must come along as well. Originally, with the petite size yet the violent nature of the semidisturbed tortured character, the vision of Natalie Portman came to mind, primarily the harshness of the head shaving scene & anarchistic ideals of V For Vendetta as well as her toughness from the get-go debut performance in The Professional. A National Swedish Film poll agreed with me. But an interesting alternate choice seems to stepped forward in Carey Mulligan, a young British actress best known for her Oscar nominated role in An Education.

Carey Mulligan = Future Salander?

Mulligan has the Euro feel, along with a perceivable grit & toughness in a small package that is mandatory for the part. She might gain some notoriety from an upcoming role in the Wall Street sequel, Money Never Sleeps (a title that is leading for film title of the year in my book). Her one flaw and sign of weakness, a fondness for Shia Labeouf, the king of the stupid face in big time action films. Whatever you do Fincher, keep Lebouf away. I know you're smarter than to cause a Gigli-like catastrophe Bennifer style.

Fincher is an superb director selection for many reasons. Most notably for his expertise handling dark, violence heavy material. He does not shy away from it as seen from his filmography but meets it head on with intensity but also an undercurrent of disdain. That is the essence of the trilogy (which the first book's original title in Swedish was Men Who Hate Women).

There are an array of queas-tastic moments in each book that I don't want to spoil, lots of deep dark secrets unearthed and assorted underground proclivities that are acted upon by just about every villain in the books. Depending on how you perceive Fight Club and the like, this could be scene as Fincher continuing to meet with the escalation of violence and mistreatment in our society.

Comparatively Michael Haneke has filled his career with similarly themed works meant to espouse his theories on the effect of brutality of the Hollywoodization of violence on the world. A filmmaker with a teachers background, this European auteur has a career littered with filmmaking awards but his lifelong motivation seems to stem from the overall effect of violence, most often on women & children (very similar to Larsson in this way).

Infamous for some of the more brutal pieces of cinema in recent memory like the extended physical torment of abductors in Funny Games, the cruelty of young children in a restive cruelty of pre-WWI Austria in his most recent work The White Ribbon along with the utter psychotic demented youth of a boy who films himself killing an assortment of mammals in Benny's Video.

Although unlike Fincher, Haneke does his best to avoid the violence on screen, focusing on the after-effects of the devastation and leaving the incident to be played out in your mind. Haneke has given many interviews and written many articles on the topic. Here is an excerpt of an extensive, career retrospective article by Mattias Frey from the Senses of Cinema regarding violence representation:

Haneke's views on representing violence and his concomitant spectatorship theory are well documented in numerous interviews as well as his own essays (“Film als Katharsis”, “Violence and Media”, “Schrecken und Utopie der Form: Bressons Au hasard Balthazar”). There are striking parallels in Haneke's logic in reference to his favourite themes of violence, media and spectatorship, with argumentation in history/memory/trauma theory. For example, Haneke's philosophy draws on Holocaust depiction theory (such as that formulated by Claude Lanzmann) in that he makes films about violence without showing it (i.e. Bilderverbot), or more precisely, Haneke thematises the representation of violence in the way that he denies the spectator his/her presumed visual access to the violence. Similar to Lanzmann, Haneke's provocative filmic program is an attempt at corrective to Hollywood's glorified treatment of violence (or in Lanzmann's case, the sentimentalised and psychologised version of the Holocaust as found in the mini-series Holocaust or later in Schindler's List): Haneke concentrates on the suffering of victims, rather than allowing the spectator to identify with any pseudopsychological motivation of the perpetrator; he uses a slow tempo in montage and camera to allow audience a distanced “thinking space”; he challenges the action film's practice of selling violence as a consumer good (i.e. violence as spectacle, dramaturgy); and again finally, Haneke resists visually depicting acts of physical violence. In this way, Haneke attempts to discuss violence without inciting fascination or titillation for his subject. Whether Haneke succeeds in this last crucial point has filled the feuilleton pages of newspapers across Europe and abroad. Some have praised Haneke in his formal daring; others have scathingly criticised him for excessive didacticism and depicting violence in essence no differently than in action films."

But back to the beginning. Thanks to Fincher and Co., it looks like the Larsson's vision of the Millennium Trilogy will have stay in view for a long time with the first of trilogy's American installment release date tentatively set for release May 2012.

Lost is Over, What are You Going Do With Your Life? Five TV Shows to Fill the Void.

2010-05-26T03:19:00.001-04:00

I know everyone loves the show and is so saddened it's over and the mystery has been solved somewhat or whatever but I'm just glad I don't have to hear about the Island on a weekly basis any longer.

I know I might sound cruel to those JJ Abrams fanatics crying in their closets and I may not have the authority to speak on the issue since I never saw more than a few glimpses of a few episodes that my roommate was watching while I ate dinner but I have some recommendations to fill the void. I want to help you Lost fans get out of the closet and realize that there is a world beyond the Island. In fact there are about 700 more channels full of stuff to waste your time dissedting and creating fan sites for.

I've got two excellent dramas and if you're more in the mood for comic relief I've got two of those as well. None will fill the mystical/puzzling aspects of Lost but will reveal glimpses of true human drama, heartache, triumph, as well as belly laughs.

1. Treme

From the creative team behind The Wire & parts of Homicide comes this loosely knit tale of various struggling artists, writers, lawyers, politicians, panhandlers, chefs and families trying to overcome the devastation of Katrina in the months that followed under the auspices of a unifying directive: the lost soul of a city that survived near total destruction.

The soul of Treme is the soul of New Orleans, its people and especially its music. Jazz fills the foreground or background eight percent of the show, sometimes as a means of survival, other times as a mean of proof of life. We all remember the images right after the storm, the benefits and Kanye West telling the world on live TV that "George Bush hates black people." You won't find any of that here. The show takes place after the national camera crews have left and the city is decimated and left to fend for itself, to reinvent itself on the backs of those that stayed and those that returned. It's a show about heart and perseverance in the face of what appears to be insurmountable odds. But this isn't a foreign nation, this is a city in America, one of the true characters in our country and David Simon and crew have brought out a cast of tour-de-force performers to showcase that vitality.

The show is seven episodes into a ten episode season. At about 4 episodes, the show truly hit its stride which is about normal for an ensemble drama with so many characters to introduce and flesh out. Actors from The Wire like Wendell Pierce (Bunk), Clarke Peters (Lester) have even meatier roles than before to flesh out, the former playing Antoine Baptiste, a skilled trombonist working from night to night taking us through the life of a per-diem Jazz musician and the latter returning as a city elder/Mardi Gras chief trying to get the city to pick itself up by rebuilding and reopening the places that people need. John Goodman plays an professor/writer who begins putting rants on Youtube, leading the rage brigade about the state of his beloved city. It's kind of a intellectual Walter-like role moved down into the bayou. Khandi Alexander (Newsradio, The Corner, CSI) depicts a woman looking for her brother who was possibly in jail at the time of the storm and seems to have disappeared. Steve Zahn portrays the kooky musician Davis, a DJ/musician who provides much of the shows true comic relief and zaniness as one usually expects from Mr. Zahn.

The most interesting aspect of the show is to see it recreating recent history while piece by piece revealing some of the post-Katrina hideous activities that were infesting New Orleans. You heard about the roving gangs and the destroyed buildings but you probably didn't think much about where did the prisoners go, or what did the police do when they had no home for weeks at a time, or how do you try to reopen a restaurant when most of the population hasn't returned and the insurance money still hasn't come through. The only type of recent history recreations we seem to get are on the battlefield, in war zones, or maybe a random biopic. This is a different type of war zone, a struggle is being fought. Treme is a biopic of an entire city represented by an ensemble cross section of its inhabitants.

Watch it Sunday Nights on HBO.

2. Breaking Bad

Wikipedia states the original premise of Breaking Bad as:

Breaking Bad is the story of Walter White (Bryan Cranston), a struggling high school chemistry teacher who is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer at the beginning of the series. He breaks down and turns to a life of crime, producing and selling methamphetamine with his former student Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul) in a desire to secure his family's financial future.

From this somewhat humble premise, Breaking Bad has evolved into so much more in it's two-plus seasons. In the beginning, it was a show about meth, family, and hiding secrets but it truly has become so much more. Cranston (best known as the dad from Malcolm in the Middle) as Walter White has quickly become one of the most transfixing characters on television as this season Breaking Bad has become about business, survival, divorce, cancer, Mexican drug cartels, DEA agents, advanced chemistry. Along with this, the phasing out of some of the show's weaker characters like his petty annoying wife Skyler and his physically disabled son have run their course outside of the idea that Walter goes into protection mode on their behalf.

The writing, direction and cinematography in this show are all tops on TV right now. To be honest, I don't want to reveal too much on this one since the joy of this show is trying to piece it together and seeing it for yourself. the second season does revolve around a bit of a mystery but it is not integral to the story. One of the niches that Breaking Bad has carved out for itself is its very unique sections that are placed before the title credits. In season two, it was continually revelatory visions of a pool filled with catastrophe. Most of season three is filled with crazy antics of South of the Border killers and it all led up to this week.

While most of the known universe was watching lost, Breaking Bad had its simplest but possibly most complex episode yet where Walter becomes obsessed with trying to kill a fly that is buzzing around his lab. The show centers much around his perfectionism and his nonacceptance of those who don't meet with his standards of quality.

This is the type of head check episode that drive the average viewer bonkers. I'm not a message board reader but I could see an episode like this easily being divisive and misunderstood, much like the infamous dream episodes in the Sopranos (in contrast though, those were rather underwhelming but accomplished something similar). They are episodes that take a break in the show's action trajectory and give you a lengthy glimpse at the show's driving force and his mental state without the momentary interruptions of life. The episodes is claustrophobic, rarely leaving the confines of the lab at all if only to see Jesse arriving and departing in the parking lot. It's an episode of context, reflection, decidedly different form the usual pacing of the series, a one-off experiment, and possibly the calm before the storm.

EW Reviewer Ken Tucker has a similar take in "I know it's "Lost" night but watch or record this episode, please." on his watching TV blog.

Sunday Nights 10 PM on AMC.

If you're a review person Treme has an 87/100 over at Metacritic (the review aggregator), Breaking Bad S2 is at 75.

3, 4, & 5: The Comedy Block - Party Down / Parks & Recreation / Modern Family

This whole post is becoming overly verbose and bit too dramatic so I'll make these short.

Party Down is a very funny show that you have probably kinda heard of, never watched (because it's on Starz), and will probably love. The show follows a rag tag catering crew of out of work LA performers. Each episode encapsulates one party in a humorous 22 minute segment starring Adam Scott (the evil brother in Stepbrothers), Martin Starr (Freaks & Geeks), and Ken Marino (Louie from The State). With episodes about outrageous sweet 16 parties, porn star awards, & high school reunions, and an assortment of great guest starring turns from the likes of J.k. Simmons, Steve Guttenberg, Ed Begley Jr., Rob Corddry, and many more. The show is in the midst of its second season (15 episodes in). Sadly, it lost one of its best performers last year in Jane lynch to Glee but it is still worth watching. It's on Fridays on Starz and I'm sure it is repeated multiple times during the week, as well as DirecTV's 101 Network plus you can watch every episode on Netflix Streaming, an amazing service if you love plowing through TV series on a binge.

Parks & Recreations is like the US version of The Office when it used to be funny. I am no Amy Poehler fan but this show is the perfect environment for her talents. For those who watched the first few rushed first season episodes and decided it was a turd, I understand. I agree with you. But this season was quite awesome. Almost all of the characters hit their stride from Aziz Ansari's creepy Cristal love Tom to the lovable doofus Andy. And don't forget about the best boss character on NBC, not Michael Scott, but Ron Swanson. The reincarnation of Ron Burgundy in modern day government with an extreme conservative tilt. Oh and that mustache and hair are to die for.

At least the show was renewed after having an excellent season, but is not due to come back until midyear as a replacement. But for you that means you have plenty of time to catch up. All episodes are streaming for free on NBC.com.

I didn't expect much from Modern Family but I watched the first episode because Al Bundy was on it yet since that first episode I've been hooked. The story lines are familiar family sitcom situations with a bit of a modern twist, showcasing a modern mash up of a family with the usual husband and wife with 3 children, the gay couple with an adopted overseas child, and Al Bundy married to one of the hottest Latin ladies this side of Penelope Cruz named Sophia Vergara.

She can also act as if that truly matters. The hardest part of the show is trying to figure out why she would truly marry Al Bundy even if he were a billionaire but once you get over that fact Modern Family is one of the most consistently funny shows on TV. You can watch episodes on ABC.com as well as Wednesday nights.

Also, less than 4 months till It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia returns on Sept 16, 2010. Start counting the days and enjoy this treat, including an additional song from the Nightman Cometh not in the episode!

Note: I apologize if you live outside the US. I have no idea when and where these shows would be on by you but I'm sure there is some way to find them out there (wink wink) plus if you click on the main link of each show it leads to its Wikipedia page which will probably provide you with the channel information.

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